Why Men Choose BBW's

[phantus1]

I find the whole question of why men like bbw/ssbbw's akin to the sages of the day deliberating how many angels can sit on the head of a pin. How does one answer that question? They are more soft, sensitive, blah blah blah Poppycock!! More sensitive than WHOM? skinner women? pawleeze!
Do you hear of a skinny girl asking a man hey why do you like skinny women? Or why do you like blondes? Or why do you like big breasts? Might as well ask why is the grass green or what is your favourite colour. I am attracted to bbw/ssbbw's because that's my PREFERENCE!! I was born that way And I will be damned if I have to justify it to a woman, or anyone else for that matter, who is seeking some kind of validation.
If you read some of the BBW ads, there are plenty that ask for specifics. Must be taller than me, and/or slimmer than me, no facial hair, with facial hair, etc etc
ALL people are self critical when it comes to their bodies. Skinny women complain that thier legs are too skinny, or breasts are not big enough, or whatever else. BUT, you don't hear them ask a man that's attracted to them as to WHY.
Yes I know society makes fun of fat people because they are vulnerable, and unlike the skinny legged girl who gets called chicken legs and can hide under a pair of pants, you can';t hide it. The point is accept who you are, and however butt ugly you think you are, there is a man to whom you are a Goddess.
As far as wether I will still love her if she lost weight, all I can say is depends. If for health sake, then understandable, if for vanity nuh uh. No different than someone being with a skinny and she gains. You may still love her, but if the chemistry is gone then what?
Just my 2 cents
George

[browneyedgirl45_PREV (deleted)]

wow, george, your a real sweetheart! I wished all men think like you...
I may be hanging with the wrong crowd.... you did shed some light to my questions... thanks for making me feel better about the situation!

[phatgrll_PREV (deleted)]

A quote that comes to mind is " What we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye are seldom the same."

I was so excited about a year ago when I discovered the world of bbw admirers. I had been married for the past 13 yrs to a man who had tormented me about my weight from the beginning. I had assumed all men saw me the same way he does so I stuck with him until I just couldn't take it anymore and I decided I'd rather spend the rest of my life alone than with someone who made me feel like s---.
But the more time I've spent glowing in the spotlight of gorgeous guys who actually find me attractive I've become slowly aware that most all of them are "closet chubby chasers" who are only interested in S-- therefore they aren't really any better than the guy I was with... Which has been such a serious disappointment for me!

[daved65]

Well, for me it is all about the inner beauty and the brains that are inside. I've never been a "closet chubby chaser" and in fact my last relationship was with a BBW. I have ALWAYS been attracted to women of size. Why....not really sure, but society teaches us that we should all look like the models in the magazines, and have 36-24-36 measurements, which is TOTAL BS!!!

It is like the earlier post in this thread....why do people like certain things. NO ONE asks people why they like small girls, but ALWAYS people that like BBW's are immediately branded "chubby chasers" Do they really think that BBW's are "easy" and "desperate"??? I'm not desperate, and I hope no one thinks that about me. I like companionship, and size REALLY has NEVER been an issue as to whether I like you or not. It should NEVER be an issue, but our society is SOOOO obsessed with weight.

I think that you need to have common interests, and size and looks shouldn't come into play. If you are compatible, why should those things matter. In my last relationship with a BBW, I met her online....she didn't have a pic posted, and we hit it off with me NOT knowing what she looked like. We are still friends. But that's all that we will remain. But, size and weight was NEVER an issue. It wasn't in the beginning, and surely wasn't in the end. We just had different goals in mind.

I am REALLY glad that I found this site. So many dating sites want large amounts of money for their services. I hope that people don't brand me as a "chubby chaser" because I certainly am NOT that. I'm just a single guy looking for some friends and lots more. It's that simple. At least people are somewhat honest about themselves on this site, which is refreshing in the on-line dating world.

If she lost weight, would I still be attracted.....simply yes. Because of the fact that I fell in love with her inner beauty first, and her body second. VERY little time in a relationship is spent in bed, so you MUST like the way a person thinks and reacts to situations. That's why size and looks should NOT play into it, but ALWAYS does. Which is why SOOOO many relationships fail. No one is truly honest.

Just my thoughts on the matter....

dave;-)

[twistedlilpixie]

Alright I have to say that being a BBW doesn't necessarily make us all of those things. Also that just because a woman is thin, doesn't mean she doesn't have the same qualities as us BBW's. However yes thinner women tend to be more high maintenance and have the "princess syndrome". This is where they expect their men to worship them, do whatever they want them to do, buy them things,etc. This unfortunately is because society, mostly the media ( as usual) tells us that women that are thin and fit ( IE. Desireable) in our modern world, that they deserve extra and special treatment for looking so darn good. However most of these types of women have the personality of a rattlesnake.

However some men ( the bad ones ) choose BBW's because they think they're easy and that they'll be able to walk all over them and that the woman will stick around because no one else will want her because she's "fat".

I have been with my current boyfriend for 6 years. I am much larger than him. I have an inch and at least 30-40lbs on him. Years ago we went to one of his old friends houses. This other guy shows up and my b.f took him outside to show him his car stereo. My b.f later told me ( why he did so I don't know) but the guy that went outside with him asked him " what's with the fat chick". He simply stated I was his girlfriend. He say's I'm not fat and that I'm beautiful. He's been with girls of all sizes. His ex I met is super skinny. Also his Mother has hated me since the beginning. She thinks I'm too fat and ugly for him. He also told me about an incident with that ( why he tells me these things I don't know, but He better stop or I'll have to hit him with a shovel lol ) but soon after we began dating, he was at his mom's house. Her friends were over ( mind you these people aren't anything to look at themselves). So they all said they had this girl they wanted him to meet, he then stated that he was already dating me. They said " yeah, well this girl is pretty". Can you believe that crap. Such shallow people. Besides not to sound mean or anything, but my boyfriend aint really much to look at either, nor a real prize winner, but I love him and have been faithful to him reguardless. Yes I've had the chance to cheat plenty of times, but I'd never do that. 1. because I love him. 2. I've been cheated on, and it hurts like hell. Do unto others, as you'd have them do unto you.

"I'm Fat, so freaking what?!?!"

[sheevaa]

`Man, you have some real stinkers in your life, pix. Although your bf sounds like he'll tell people where to stick it when it comes to you, and that's a keeper!

Personally, I find that from being a big gal for my whole life, looks are not always the first thing that determines who I like. I should clarify, my idea of what is attractive is not a pumped up iron man beach boy. The more a guys' personality wins me over, the better looking he becomes to me. I'm definitely glad to be fat for that reason, I would have overlooked some really wonderful people in my life if I was suffering from "princess" syndrome;)

I've had people on this other dating site tell me I'm beautiful, which is nice, but definitely a shock to hear. Possibly because I won't take s--- about my weight. I'm blunt and honest about it, and not willing to change for anyone to date me.

I am surprised though that on the other site (that is not catered to BBW), I do get a fair amount of messages, but here I don't. I actually haven't received one:( and I talk here...what's up with that? lol

[nabmustang (deleted)]

I think its like anything else in life, a preference. Some know what they like from the beginning, others learn as they go on. A guy may like bbw's, but she may have to be a certain height, hair color, complexion, etc. They choose what they like.

[superfantastiqu (deleted)]

`I never was a BBW admirer, until recently. I've always dated petite women for the most part. I never paid any attention to larger women before, purely because I never got attention from them and none were in my immediate social circle. Then some time ago, I had a short intense relationship with a young woman you would describe as a small BBW. We connected really on an intellectual, and emotional level first, and as friends, she was really brilliant in her work, definitely smarter than me. I think I was enamored and blown away by that. And holy sh!t, the S-- was "effing" amazing. So yeah, that experience really influenced the type of women I'm physically attracted to. So yeah, I'm a skinny(er) guy who is attracted to BBW. So I guess the point of my story (finally) is that there are different reasons guys dig BBWs, some for good reasons, some for bad reasons, and some from great experiences. I wish I could meet more smart, BBW, to date but its not easy out here in California, but I guess that's why I'm on this site....

[twistedlilpixie]

Hmm. Since the post that I had put up earlier, many things have changed. I am no longer with my boyfriend. He just up and abandoned me and our dog at my parents, despite their troubles. He left me then began to beg me to come back. The crying and everything else. I was willing to try to give him a chance. However we've been here for over a month and he hasn't helped me or the dog in any way. He never see's me. He rarely even calls anymore.
Also one late night while he was in bed, his phone began to go off because of text's messages. It was this woman claiming that she had been to our place on one of the many occasions that I was at my parents house visiting. She stated that he had paid her $200 for a B.J and some p---- ( her exact words). She knew things. The worst part though was that the last text she sent said... " and don't 4 get that u told me ur B---- is fat 2 and thats y u called me!" her exact text. It really wasn't surprising. This guy wasn't that bad until the last year and a half or so. Everything was fine until then. Then weird things started happening ( its highly likely he was cheating, and not with just one woman) He was skimming the net for women when I'd be away from home, and sometimes even offer them money for S-- I found out. He also makes fun of fat people so bad. However the thing is, he really doesn't make fun of "fat" guys, just "fat" chicks. He says they're so gross and disgusting. It always angered me and I asked him so many times to stop. He never did. He is a skinny guy( plus I think he's back into drugs and paying chicks for S-- offline.hahaha) Things were great for a while. We had a lot of good times. However once we lived on our own, he completely changed. He became very controlling, and verbally/emotionally abusive. I'm glad that I got out of it. I was so torn because we had been together so long ( long for me, I was only 18 when we got together). He did stick by me through a lot. However he also truly revealed his true colors while living there, and I didn't like that man. It wasn't the man I was with all that time anymore. This guy makes fun of everyone and thinks he's so perfect. My big white --- he is! He's 31 and living with his mother. He up and abandoned me and our dog which he claimed to love like a his own child, because his mom told him to. Mind you this was less than a month after a major back surgery for me. My parents are going through bankruptcy, and their house has been foreclosed on, and he just expected them to take care of me and the dog. He begged and whined to try to get me back, which is stupid because he left me. So basically the guy was cool till we got out on our own and he could "play" while I was away. He's a liar, a cheater, selfish, childish. This list goes on. I may sound just like some bitter woman that got dumped, but he honestly ditched me and then BEGGED me to come back. He has so many issues. He think's he's better than everyone. Yet he's 31, has nothing to show for himself but a few electronics ( no top of the line stuff, not that i'm a gold digger...or I'd never have gotten with the guy in the first place, or stuck by him as he lost job after job) lives with his mom and step dad. He is an ex drug addict ( I'm talking hardcore drugs) and may be into them again. I do sound bitter and I'll admit I am a little. I gave him all I could, even despite the fact that I became disabled and was in horrible pain every single day. I am no longer confined to just sitting all day or having to use a wheelchair thanks to a wonderful surgeon. Him and his mother just don't approve of anyone. They think no one is good enough for them. Also he wil take advantage of anyone he can, and was even going to screw over his so called old friends . I had to fill them in on what was going on, he didn't tell them a damn thing. I will not give out details or his name, despite my anger and hurt, I will not do that because I'm not that childish. I don't want people bombing him or trying to start crap or any of that. So just leave him as Mr. John Doe. I guess what I'm saying though is that, you never really know a person. also that I gave him all I could and was always faithful and honest with him. I'm just glad I have wised up to his B.S and decided its better to just cut my losses and move on. Sorry for the rant. Being a little off subject. I'm just very Blah right now. I do apologize. I rant a lot, I'm a ranter. Please though I'm not some bitter man hating woman, just very hurt and needed to get some things off my chest. Thanks



"Be careful how you judge and treat others. Vanity, cruelty and conceit is never attractive. Also you may be so jaded, that you won't even like what you see in the mirror(metaphorically speaking)".

[sheevaa]

`Well pix, to shine some light on you, at least you aren't with him anymore!!! *happy dance* YOU don't have to put up with his s--- anymore! Yay! And also, thank goodness you didn't have any kids with him, better to find out about him over a pup than a baby. You know I'm still here to talk whenever you need.

Take care, hun.

[mslisa09s]

I wish that I could find at least some one that is truly single, and truly into bbw's here in California. I moved here in 2005, and I have yet to find a really true guy that is not married, or that does not only want s--. I hear you guys saying you adore bbw's, but it is hard for me to believe.

I have a wonderful job, I am a full time student, no kids, and am a very good dresser. I have been called pretty, funny, and told I have a great understanding of people, however, men around my age and around here are not looking to truly date. I am not the type that goes to clubs and have my b--bs hang out just to catch an eye of a man. I dont even have that type of pic on my profile; but it seems men don't want woman like me. Although I hate being single, I just refuse to be any thing but a lady.

Well, that is all I had to add to this. I know there are good guys out there, just hope it does not take me until I am 50 to find one.

(removed)

[nataliemuse]

`I'm a very honest and straight forward kind of gal...and I believe that most of the guys (not all, but many) choose BBWs because they think they will be able to get away with more...There are all of these notions that I have heard about: BBWs are easy, they are starved for attention, they will wait on you hand and foot AND you can treat them however you like because they are so elated that a guy chose them at all....I know this is not true for lots of these women posting, but I'm sure that at some level like stereotypes, outsiders perceive them as true.

[mslisa09s]

`Natalie, I so wish that I could tell you that your post is not true. I wish that I could honestly say that some men that post on here do not feel the way you just described, but I honestly can not. In fact, most of the men that I have been contacted by on here have started the conversation asking my breast size, what do I do for s----l fun?, do I live alone?, when can they come over?, and etc...... It kind of shocks them when I attempt to show I am intelligent, and that I do not flash t---, or get into s----l chats with them. However, I refuse to think all the men on here are like that; just like all woman on here do not flash their b--bs in pics just to get someone to say hi to them. The best I can do, is hold on to what I have to offer someone, maybe I will luck up and find that one person that is into who I really am. We shall see!

[luvmbignbrainy]

You will find men behaving badly on all kinds of forums and dating sites. It is not exclusive to BBW's or BHM's. The real problem is the anonymity the internet affords. People feel it gives them a lisence to act badly.

Have you seen "To Catch A Predator" on MSNBC? These guys are amazing --prowling for S-- with children. It's more than just a few guys. I think lots of men had these feeling before, but prior to the advent of the internet they never had the opportunity to act on these dark impulses.

[easilyamusedor (deleted)]

I appreciate hearing why men like BBW's, what boggles me is why all the hang ups with a person's size to begin with?

Has internet dating caused men and women to give up on getting to know the person within when they have such a vast sea of other singles to chose from? I personally don't care what a guy looks like. I've been through a life time of hurtful experiences because of my appearance I surely would never ever do that to another human being.


I also have tried other sites, and plenty of fish was one of them, in about 5 months on there I did not get one email or any responses to my add there. Another site I was on, the forums there were loaded with hateful threads slamming BBW's and BHM's, amazing that in this day and age large people can be openly and publicly criticized and humiliated, like no one cares if we even exist.