What to say in those first few e-mails?

[terrybogard23]

I think it's good to ask about the person. When a person never ask about you, and your the one doing all the questions, it makes it feel like the person isn't interested in you, and that can be a real downer. So i say ask about the person what there into etc.

[beachbum63 (deleted)]

`I don't have trouble coming up with stuff to say in a first e-mail, but sadly(lol) I've never received a reply! Some people seem to maybe join then never bother with it, some check your profile, then don't respond. I don't know, I thought this would be more fun,and maybe I'd actually be contacted , or receive some replies,but not yet...:(

[caboose235]

`I always find it a little weird emailing since you really cant show tone in text. I would prefer to able to use my voice but I guess with online dating you are a little limited

[cookinbubbles]

`The lack of tone kind of got me too at first but having kids and grand kids that text a lot got me over some of that.
It is great to see all the different opinions coming up for this question. Great to hear from everyone and see their opinions.
As to the S-- talk right away, gotta tell you something funny...
I used to belong to a more local dating site and this fella and I talked often. He sounded nice so I agreed to meet him, at a public place(I am a cautious gal). We were sitting chatting for all of 5 minutes when he informed me that when he has S-- he likes to be rubbed "there".....The conversation didn't get much past that...I mean geez. First face to face and he is telling me his s----l preferences...the conversation got cut of short after that.
There is bold and then there is just plain stupid.
Frankly I have given up for the most part. I feel I had one great love of my life and he is gone....I probably won't ever have another and I am okay with that...lonesome sometimes but I can deal with that too. Thanks for all the great replies.

[juleighbee (deleted)]

`This whole thing makes me feel better, I always get down when I see that someone read a message I sent and didn't reply or I see all the people who viewed my profile and didn't message me. Perhaps they just don't know what to say and it's not because of me...hopefully anyway!

[marikine]

`Cookinbubbles, you will definitely find someone new. It isn't the end, I'm sure you have enough love in your heart for another man, and he will for you as well.

Caboose, there are always phone/skype options for online dating, but I suppose there usually has to be a little chemistry first. (for me anyway.)

[thecabdriver (deleted)]

marikine wrote: there are always phone/skype options for online dating, but I suppose there usually has to be a little chemistry first. (for me anyway.)



The majority of the time the request is from dudes that dont just simply want to say "hello". That might be why the others who go in with good intentions immediately get ignored, haha

"inflammable means flammable? What a country!"

[imlikeajellyy (deleted)]

marikine wrote: `Cookinbubbles, you will definitely find someone new. It isn't the end, I'm sure you have enough love in your heart for another man, and he will for you as well.

Caboose, there are always phone/skype options for online dating, but I suppose there usually has to be a little chemistry first. (for me anyway.)




That is soo true,(the chemistry part) some guys would just email and ask for my number even if i dont even know his name..yet. A little introduction and getting-to-know scene would have made it so much better. :)

[maybethisonce]

When I get brave and send a message I try to write something different. Today I told a guy an embarrassing, but cute, story and asked him to tell me one back. Oddly, it's easier than just "hi how are you" seems to be. It starts a conversation and it takes some of the pressure off from the get go.

[heavysteps76 (deleted)]

` for what its worth, if you are interested, send me a message, and say "heavysteps, give me your phone number, i want to get to know you" then call me when i give you my number, or visa verse, too many people hide behind a puter never take a chance and wonder why they are alone, but they are "being safe" ugggh

[kn1ght1ngale (deleted)]

maybethisonce wrote: When I get brave and send a message I try to write something different. Today I told a guy an embarrassing, but cute, story and asked him to tell me one back. Oddly, it's easier than just "hi how are you" seems to be. It starts a conversation and it takes some of the pressure off from the get go.



Got to go with this idea myself and give it two thumbs up. I usually respond with something weird and unusual myself. Seems to work well. I dont get to the first date however. I usually panic when it appears to be heading in that direction. I just dont do well under pressure. :p

[pollux86 (deleted)]

Good grammar is a start to a good conversation. I like to ask questions, random ones first and then maybe the usual fare after a while, to kind of spice it up and keep it interesting. Maybe when the woman feels comfortable I talk to them on the phone, and if we can actually keep a conversation on the phone without telling our entire life stories then I move to meet them.

[abbwfan]

I hope I am doing this reply thing right. In the first few emails / messages why not tell about yourself...your: politics, religion, tastes in movies / books / TV / general recreation, etc? Say a bit about your living conditions...alone, with children, or whatever. Mention favorite authors, actors, and such. If you have a medical condition which needs to be taken into account on dates, tell a bit about it. Some idea of your goals would help, too. Do you want just a pen pal, a friend with benefits, a live in lover, or are you hoping to get married? Would you be willing to move to another city / state / country for Mr. / Mz. Right? If not, why not? What organizations-NRA, DAR, Elks, American Legion, local book clubs, etc, do you belong to? Do you like to photograph things, and if so what? Have you travelled, and if so to where? Try to create a general, but accurate, word picture of yourself, and your situation, and your desires.