truth in advertising

[(deleted)]

I wanted to talk about the way people post ads, hope this is the correct topic ("advertising vs reality")....

SOME people don't put much on their profile. And so, unless there's a photo you have no idea who this person is. ...and SOME people are much more explicit, telling you their weight, their height, their preferences, etc etc.

I wonder what people prefer when they read ads... Don't we ALL want to know about each other? if that is the case, why don't people fill in their profiles? This is a site for BBWs and SSBBWs, but the way people are being close-mouthed about their weights, you'd never know it.

Am I the only person wishing people would be more courageous about being honest? Or am I out of step...?

Please comment.

[shilokw_PREV (deleted)]

Speaking for myself, if someone has a picture up, there's no need to put your actual weight. You can see if you're attracted to them or not. Provided it's a recent picture. If there's no picture, you should give more information on your physical appearance to give others a better mental picture.

Why lie, why hide information? If you're serious about wanting to get to know someone with the possibility of meeting in the future, the truth will come out eventually anyway. Save yourself, and the other person, the possibility of an uncomfortable situation and just get it out there in the beginning.

The same goes with information on your likes, dislikes, etc.. Example....I'm a smoker. I say so on my profile. I'd rather put that information out there and meet another smoker or someone who doesn't mind it instead of hiding it and waiting for a disappointing meeting.

People should put truthful and complete information about themselves on their profiles so they can have a better chance at meeting a person they have things in common with and can be the most comfortable with.

[truckerjerry (deleted)]

`You both make good points but just because this is a site for big folks does not mean that a woman or man can check their insecurities and fears of rejection at the door so to speak
For example you would not believe how many beautiful women I have seen on this website but if I told them how good they look in their pics they would never believe it. And what's worse is that they would just write me off as some nut that's looking for a fast ---- !
Our society has pounded into the heads of every woman in this country that if they are over a size 8 then they are basically a mut!
Now if a woman has that beat into her from childhood , then she will believe the lie and she will start thinking that the only way for her to get a man to pay her attention is to lie or hide her looks on her profile. Why would she want to expose herself to the ridicule and outright scorn of men by telling the truth.
And if she does find an honest and real man that's interested in her she will be so scared of the rejection that she is sure to follow that she will hide behind her puter scared to death of taking a chance and never step out to meet the man that might be all she dreams of!!!!
NOW do you understand??

[truckerjerry (deleted)]

`Oh and I forgot to mention it only gets worse with the years of lonlyness.
And there comes a point when that fear is replaced with something worse.... Hopelessness

[sheevaa]

`Truckerjerry - you bring up good points. I'll share a bit about my childhood and why I can be insecure. It may make why women are so reluctant to share weight a little more clear.

Being a fat little girl, you get the scorn of your parents telling you that you shouldn't eat that, and that everyone will dislike you because of your weight. Then you get other kids parents giving you or your parents scornful looks, if you have a second helping of something. They may think that kids don't notice them, but we do, and it's very shaming. Then you have teachers, other relatives or people who are trying to be nice, telling you that you won't find a boyfriend if you are big. Or you're too big to have nice clothes, or do fun activities that other kids can.
Don't even get me started on the hell that is school for a fat girl.

You have on every single side you look, no acceptance of your weight. Everywhere you look, someone is judging you on it. I could give you a hundred instances of this from my childhood alone! This is what shapes your mentality and how you grow. My best friend's daughter is a bigger girl, and she's terrified of the same treatment for her girl that she received. To tell the truth, so am I, but if she needs me to, I'll go knock some heads together if they want to be cruel to a delightful child, all because she's bigger.

I've personally done my best to move past that stuff, and screw everyone who thinks it's their right to judge me. I can tell you though, I still get nervous going on dates or attending functions where I know that we'll be eating. Still have the ghost of the belittling demon standing behind me.

It's not surprising that most women, even smaller ones, don't want to share their weight, or what they eat with other people. Or that so many girls and women have eating disorders. Weight, seemingly, is what makes the western world go round, and no one wants to put themselves out there to be ridiculed right off the hop.

Sorry for going on so much, but I hope this kinda sheds some light on the whole situation a little bit.

[truckerjerry (deleted)]

`thank you so much for the post!!!!!!
the only reason that i did not mention those things was they were so personal that i thought i was the only one to go through that growing up. i never was big till one night when i went for a walk and was hit by a car, then i started packing on the pounds and the hell of school and all the rest started for me.

[silentboricua]

`I know that I always had problems with seeing so many skinny girls in magazines, tele and movies. Has anyone else in this world noticed that the average sized woman is a size 16 and not a size 6?
I grew up trying to "stay fit" and it never seemed to happen. I was always chubbier than everyone else. The fat third baseman, the chubby goalie, the fat girl shooting 3 pointers and getting "lucky".
I just wish people could see the beauty within. Damn media messing up girl's self esteem for years.

[jeanne2b2b (deleted)]

`Truth in advertising...or are we talking about self esteem? self respect? self acceptance? Placing value on your looks ALONE is dangerous. I believe the current "Princess" marketing to little girls is very dangerous, focusing too soon on hair, nail polish, make-up, clothing, when they should be just allowed to be kids, running in backyards playing tag, climbing trees, making mud sculptures, rollerskating with joy, and biking like the wind. Jumping in the pool/lake with abandon because they are not worried about their hair or makeup. Letting them enjoy their bodies as human beings first.

[joanamrf]

Going back to the "advertising" aspect of this, I couldn't agree more. And after reading all these posts about what people have gone through because of their weight I would understand if someone doesn't post their weight. But I will say that people need to start filling out their pages more

Quote: Why lie, why hide information? If you're serious about wanting to get to know someone with the possibility of meeting in the future, the truth will come out eventually anyway. Save yourself, and the other person, the possibility of an uncomfortable situation and just get it out there in the beginning.


^^couldnt have said it better myself.

jo

[exilesky (deleted)]

`I'll tell you why I didn't post my weight - because the day I filled out that portion of the profile I didn't know for sure what it was, and when I came back and tried to change it I found out you're not allowed to change your original figure. Now what genius decided it was OK to let a person change their BIRTHDAY (which doesn't change unless you're a pathological liar) but won't let you change your weight - which IS subject to change on EVERYONE? Just another sucky thing about this site that I don't appreciate. So people are forced to keep outdated info up there - allowing for no truth in advertising, even if you WANT to be honest. So like others have said - current pictures are the only thing to do to keep the info current.

Know what else people lie about? Height. I'm 5'4". I can't count the guys that "are" 5'6" on their profile but are shorter than me in real life. Did they think I wouldn't notice? I'm not that worried about height, but I AM worried about dating liars. Pretty stupid of them, IMO.

[feedback]

Here's a suggestion...if you think something is set up wrong, or isn't working...why not try to contact us about it to ask a question, or make a suggestion.

[You can send an email to (removed) anytime you have an issue or a problem.]

You are right. It would be pretty stupid if we didn't allow people to update the weight they have listed within their account.

Guess what.

They can.

Just click the 'Update Account Information' link in the Account area and you can modify the weight you have listed.

Since you say that that is just one of the 'SUCKY' things you don't like about the website, why not send us an email with a list of the other things.

Our guess is that you just haven't figured out how to find/fix whatever it is that is bothering you...but if you have an actual concern about a real problem, then we'll look at how to address it.

Thanks,


.

[toucherpudge (deleted)]

`I'm sure that many of the BHM or BBW people in here have experienced harshness to extremes at one point or another, and honestly- in this society, they will continue. With that being said... sometimes it does irk me to see people close mouthed about themselves.

If you aren't willing to truly put yourself out there- how can you expect for someone to genuinely reach out for YOU?!

It's not easy for me to be as honest as possible about things like weight and height, but I feel that if I'm going to attract someone that will be honest and forthright with me, then I need to set the example on my profile.

Everyone has insecurities and apprehensions, but how we handle them often shows what kind of person we truly are. IMO

[southernfinery]

`I guess the younger ones on here are more forthright about certain subjects but for me and mine,I really think of it as an invasion of privacy to even ask for such personal info.Granted that it is each ones own profile and therefore may and should be filled out to your own specifications and adjusted accordingly as time goes by but to look at a persons profile to find out their weight nope sorry.Imho there is way to much free giving of ones own self be it info-wise or physical-wise in this day and age.Where is it written that in order to get to know someone as an individual and to see if the two of you click then you must know their specs like weight and height to even begin the conversation?Whatever happene to just chatting with each other?This animal attraction nonsense is what has our society in an aids epidemic with stds that have mutated to the point that a normal course of antibiotics just won't do anything to even slow it down.Come on people what are you truly living for?Is your worth wrapped up in your weight or height?Why would anyone even consider putting themselves out there as an advertisement in the first place?I for one don't want to know when your last menstral cycle was nor whether you use pads or tampons.I don't want to know if you like to 69 or do it doggy style and I certainly don't want to know the length of your manhood.There are at least 969 topics that can be broached without even one of the afore mentioned topics coming up and you can even walk away feeling as though you have met someone interesting and you may even like to engage in further talk with them.Sorry I got a little snippy but it is very disheartening to know that my grandchildren are coming up in a society that has more sympathy for animals then it does for fellow human beings.

[marz201]

I'd like to add ( or repeat) a few things on posting Physical Traits....

1. Height is almost needed because telling height in a picture can eb very tricky.
2. Weight i feel should be a Ballpark figure ( lets say someone weight 396 well i think 390 or 400 us a fair post because the weight can change. relatively fast in some cases..
3. Hair color without a photo... due to hair dye Its hard to say.
4. Race - generally optional if person has a photo posted.
5. Eye color - This should be esp if someone wears contacts that change their eye color
6. Bodytype - is very general... most people can tell this from a photo ( although Athletic vs Average can he hard to tell..... ( the others not so much )