BBW liking Slender Men???

[starryeyedsarah (deleted)]

I think personality absolutely is more important than the phsycial, but the first post only dealt with the physical. I personally think that's why it was the central focus of the conversation.

I agree with the general consensus of the posts, that we all have our preferences and some BBWs might go for slender men but there are BHMs who go for slender women as well. I actually dated a very slender man for a few years, and one of my guy friends who is a BHM made a comment about me being lucky because I got a skinny guy...

I think that in a nutshell is the problem. Some people, even larger people, still put a value on a person's worth based upon their weight.



A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others.

[obsequium (deleted)]

`You can't help what you are and what you're not attracted to. Whatever anyone says physical attractiveness /is/ important in a relationship. I definitely don't think it's the most important thing, but it is important. People on this website are a testament to that as they're looking for larger women or men as they find them physically attractive.

I've seen countless men say "I prefer girls with a little meat on their bones.." or "I would never date a rake.." well, if they're skinny themselves does that make them hypocrites? It's not hypocritical to be attracted to whatever you're attracted to.

[katsunrise (deleted)]

`Okay, in my experience, I don't like guys who are super super skinny. It just makes me feel insecure about my own size.
I was once set up with a guy. He had to have weighed at least 400 pounds. I'm not that big, so I found this a little insulting at first. I mean, why does my being moderately overweight mean that the only guy I can get is this guy who's the size of a baby whale? In the end though, what made me give up on him was personality related. All he wanted to talk about was his last girlfriend. Yuck.
So I don't think it's necessarily hypocritical. We all like certain things, and I think it's kind of ignorant to suggest that big girls can only get big guys. I would date a bigger guy, yes, but that doesn't mean I should have to lower my own standards. I would date a bigger guy if he had a great personality and makes me smile, just like I would date a smaller guy who's a sweetheart.

[charliesmile (deleted)]

katsunrise wrote: I was once set up with a guy. He had to have weighed at least 400 pounds. I'm not that big, so I found this a little insulting at first. I mean, why does my being moderately overweight mean that the only guy I can get is this guy who's the size of a baby whale?


Okay, so I read the part where you'd be willing to date a big guy if he was a good person¦
But don't you think the part I quoted can be considered more than a little insulting?
I'm willing to bet that if someone made a "Baby Whale" remark about a woman who was 400lbs, you'd cry foul.

Furthermore, I don't think it's okay to make such remarks about anyone's weight, be they MALE OR FEMALE.
This only perpetuates the hatred that everyday society throws down upon fat people on a daily basis.
I think we, as members of a size acceptance community, should stop this cycle of name-calling.

[southernfinery]

`I agree that name calling should be a nono especially being we as a community of understanders of hurtful words know how they(words) can cause such terrible memories.No human-being should ever be compared to an animal.This coming from someone who has experienced it first hand over the .....years.......like whomever you like but it won't go anywhere if you don't like you first.gbu all

[dennene]

`im not sure why but i like skinny guys. not only do i like skinny guys, i like tall guys. tall skinny white guys. and im a thick black female. i may be tall, so i have strict preferences that i cant date anyone under 5'10. but im not sure why i prefer skinny guys, i just do. im a psych major soo i guess i get this stuff. my dad is pretty big and i had a negative relationship with him all my life. the majority of the relationships that have negatively influenced my life have been with larger black males. so psychologically, i prefer white males. and the tall thing is just me being shallow. i refuse to date a guy thats much shorter than me. 5'10 is pushing it already. any shorter and ill trip over him

[nicki (deleted)]

`I don't think its hypocritical at all...it is a preference and what you are attracted to, there are skinny guys attracted to big girl big guys who only want small women, there are BBW who only want BHM etc etc...you can't help what your preference is...I prefer men to have a little meat on their bones but who's to say my soul mate won't end up being the size of a broom stick...just because i am an SSBBW doesn't mean i want to be with someone my size but doesn't mean I wouldn't be its my choice and what I am comfortable with, its like your saying just because I am big that I should date only big guys...it is what it is as long as you are happy with whoever your with

[zombii]

It doesn't sound as hypocritical as much as it just sounds shallow, to me anyways... I'm shallow at times though! I'm pretty sure almost everyone else is too.
But how shallow are you? Are you so much so that you don't give anyone a chance? Or maybe just a tinsy bit.
Every woman wants a guy that they think is completely gorgeous to swoon over them or ask them out, blah blah, don't they?

And then, it's all preference.

If you have preferences at all, you're shallow , right? That doesn't make you a bad person. Unless you're just unreasonable, then you're a douche.

[dcl650]

`Shallow, hypocritical, whatever you care to call it...I like this trend. It works in my favor.

[1lindalou (deleted)]

I don't think its being a hypocrite a all. Ppl like what they like. I don't mind some tummy on a guy, but I don't want someone who is really huge. To me its uncomfortable when you are intimate.

[terrybogard23]

1lindalou wrote: I don't think its being a hypocrite a all. Ppl like what they like. I don't mind some tummy on a guy, but I don't want someone who is really huge. To me its uncomfortable when you are intimate.




i do agree,people do like what they like and they have peferences.guess i look at personality and the person the most,i really look at looks last(i know alot of people say that but im being completely honest here).but i see what everyone is saying,been awhile since i have been on the boards but i have learned alot though.LOL thank you all for the comments! much appreciated always! i will try to come around more often like i used too.LOL

[terrybogard23]

`also i think alot of you made a point i was thinking about when i made this thread.that some women wouldn't date a big guy because of his size,but if a guy wouldn't date them for there size,they would say unfair.

[sizei (deleted)]

`I just don't see why it is such an issue. Everyone has different tastes and different things are attractive or not attractive to other people. The world would be a lot less diverse if the opposite were true.

[roseheart29 (deleted)]

`I think everyone has their own personal tastes in what is drop your jaw to the floor attractive to them...and even then people have even more specifics if they think of who they find attractive to be with (example being those who say they wouldn't date a drop dead gorgeous man if he isn't tall enough, it doesn't mean they don't find him attractive at all, just that that decided he didn't measure up enough to be in the okay-for-dating pool to them...but a little less physically attractive guy with the right height looks more attractive relationship-wise and so therefore more attractive overall to them).

As for me, I have dated from bodybuilder big muscle man to big soft teddy bear guys, had serious feelings for both ends of the spectrum. But I never have dated a "skinny" guy, I just am not attracted to anyone I could easily bump into and send flying into the wall...or accidently hurt when playing or being intimate...at least I think that is why I am attracted to the bigger/stronger guys overall. I dont have height preference at all...would even be open to dating a little person if he was well-built since muscles are my fave over all other body types. I have a different measurement requirement than height for a man I would be willing to date due to what I know gives me pleasure. Just as most men know if they prefer small, medium, or big breasts as their ultimate preference...most people dont choose what their preferences will be, so I dont see how they can be hypocritical for them, either you like it or you dont...and thanks to the wonderful internet and sites like this I can find my perfect kind of guys and the ones that think I am their perfect kind of woman can find me...and if we happen to match up all the better for the both of us and if we dont then we move on to find those that do...no reason worrying about it.
The comments about worrying about women crying foul if a guy did it when they do it too...yes women will point out things like that if the guy had no respect with how he did it...example: "No Fat Chicks" is the most negative way for him to say he loves skinny and/or athletic women that are maybe young, the fact being he chose to put down someone saying he didnt want them rather than saying what he was looking for...he may be looking for really old men, but all we know for sure is he doesnt want fat young women....and what I have seen when I see that same saying posted by a guy is usually a lack of what they consider fat (most dont describe what isnt fat or is fat in their opinion...so I bet fewer average women will hit on them assuming they think any female that isnt skin and bones to be fat). I hate it when a guy with that saying hits on me...and it happens because they want big breasts and I have a set but they fail to realize I'm technically fat which means I know they are not serious in the least, to me the guy that does this is then hypocritical to himself (he said no fat chicks then tried to get me...hypocritical right???...when I point it out to them some actually try to claim they didnt mean that title or line, that they just want a woman with selfconfidence in herself that no matter her size she doesnt think of herself as fat this may let them slide with that).
So I think if you have standards of what makes you happiest, then yes you can always settle below your standards if that person can make you just as happy, but as long as you arent looking for the opposite of your standards on purpose then you arent being hypocritical. Having standards or preferences doesnt make you hypocritical either, everyone has them...even if it is just requiring you have something in common with the person...or that the person be opposite gender for a hetero or same gender for gays...I see standards as you know what you like, know what you want, and know what you could be happy with...they dont mean you will get them all, just that you have something you are aiming at. Everyone usually wants someone they get along with, but some find their soulmate with someone they have passionate fights with alot of the time, and yet they are still happy. Usually relationships that last are because both people involved found what they most desired for a good relationship in the other person for the most part (like if you had to write down 5 things you couldnt live without getting in any relationship: be it same religion, to same number of kids desired, to work ethic, to morals, to body shape, whatever...your relationship has best chance of you not messing it up or leaving if the person you are in a relationship with has ALL 5 of those things you absolutely had to have...and if you both found your 5 in each other than more than likely you will work out any bumps in the road instead of the bumps destroying the relationship). That is just my 2 cents anyway.

[terrybogard23]

roseheart29 wrote: `I think everyone has their own personal tastes in what is drop your jaw to the floor attractive to them...and even then people have even more specifics if they think of who they find attractive to be with (example being those who say they wouldn't date a drop dead gorgeous man if he isn't tall enough, it doesn't mean they don't find him attractive at all, just that that decided he didn't measure up enough to be in the okay-for-dating pool to them...but a little less physically attractive guy with the right height looks more attractive relationship-wise and so therefore more attractive overall to them).

As for me, I have dated from bodybuilder big muscle man to big soft teddy bear guys, had serious feelings for both ends of the spectrum. But I never have dated a "skinny" guy, I just am not attracted to anyone I could easily bump into and send flying into the wall...or accidently hurt when playing or being intimate...at least I think that is why I am attracted to the bigger/stronger guys overall. I dont have height preference at all...would even be open to dating a little person if he was well-built since muscles are my fave over all other body types. I have a different measurement requirement than height for a man I would be willing to date due to what I know gives me pleasure. Just as most men know if they prefer small, medium, or big breasts as their ultimate preference...most people dont choose what their preferences will be, so I dont see how they can be hypocritical for them, either you like it or you dont...and thanks to the wonderful internet and sites like this I can find my perfect kind of guys and the ones that think I am their perfect kind of woman can find me...and if we happen to match up all the better for the both of us and if we dont then we move on to find those that do...no reason worrying about it.
The comments about worrying about women crying foul if a guy did it when they do it too...yes women will point out things like that if the guy had no respect with how he did it...example: "No Fat Chicks" is the most negative way for him to say he loves skinny and/or athletic women that are maybe young, the fact being he chose to put down someone saying he didnt want them rather than saying what he was looking for...he may be looking for really old men, but all we know for sure is he doesnt want fat young women....and what I have seen when I see that same saying posted by a guy is usually a lack of what they consider fat (most dont describe what isnt fat or is fat in their opinion...so I bet fewer average women will hit on them assuming they think any female that isnt skin and bones to be fat). I hate it when a guy with that saying hits on me...and it happens because they want big breasts and I have a set but they fail to realize I'm technically fat which means I know they are not serious in the least, to me the guy that does this is then hypocritical to himself (he said no fat chicks then tried to get me...hypocritical right???...when I point it out to them some actually try to claim they didnt mean that title or line, that they just want a woman with selfconfidence in herself that no matter her size she doesnt think of herself as fat this may let them slide with that).
So I think if you have standards of what makes you happiest, then yes you can always settle below your standards if that person can make you just as happy, but as long as you arent looking for the opposite of your standards on purpose then you arent being hypocritical. Having standards or preferences doesnt make you hypocritical either, everyone has them...even if it is just requiring you have something in common with the person...or that the person be opposite gender for a hetero or same gender for gays...I see standards as you know what you like, know what you want, and know what you could be happy with...they dont mean you will get them all, just that you have something you are aiming at. Everyone usually wants someone they get along with, but some find their soulmate with someone they have passionate fights with alot of the time, and yet they are still happy. Usually relationships that last are because both people involved found what they most desired for a good relationship in the other person for the most part (like if you had to write down 5 things you couldnt live without getting in any relationship: be it same religion, to same number of kids desired, to work ethic, to morals, to body shape, whatever...your relationship has best chance of you not messing it up or leaving if the person you are in a relationship with has ALL 5 of those things you absolutely had to have...and if you both found your 5 in each other than more than likely you will work out any bumps in the road instead of the bumps destroying the relationship). That is just my 2 cents anyway.



wow...great post!