Where do I fit in???

[georgiegirl_PREV (deleted)]

Hey to all reading.. As the title suggests I am seeking clarity.. I joined this site several days ago, with no expectations.. if only to broaden my horizons, if you will.. What I am finding is : I don't seem to fit the BBW bill?? I am a full figured girl , yet the men here tell me I am NOT big enough!!?? The dilemma seems to be that I am TOO big for the "normal" dating sites, but not big enough for BBW sites ( quite frankly have had a chuckle or two over this oxymoron). Has anyone else experienced this? Are there any other dating sites for as "Freaks" haha, seriously these subcultures are driving me nuts!. Am not seeking approval,attention nor abuse.. Feed back would be appreciated, perhaps a few handy hints. Cheers to all.

[georgiegirl_PREV (deleted)]

Hmm ok, so no-one has responded to my thread haha am not fussed.. yet, I shall pose another question!! does anyone actually EVER respond, this would have to be the lamest forum I have ever written in.. WHERE are you all?? do you not have an opinion!!?? meh.. Also, where are all the blokes (men) at?? I receive more mail on the " Free" but pay to send mail BBW dating sites opposed to this 100% free site.. Are you all mad!!?? haha.. ooh well , cheers to all xx

[samuel1986]

To tell you the truth if a guy tells you you're not "big enough" you might want to steer clear, they only like BBW's for one reason and one reason alone. If you think this is a good site then, stay, if not, go, it's up to you. And you're right to be confused by all of this. Who isn't? And you don't have to be a BBW to be here anyways, if you want to be here then that's great, and if you feel that you yourself don't fit the bill there are alot of different sites like this connected to this one. On the left side of the home page it has a list that might help you find a site you might think fits you better. Anyone can tell you what to do, but you're the only one who can decide on whether to do it or not.

To answer the next question, this is kind of a slow site that is still growing. In these types of situations you have to fight the boredom and give it time. All things come in time.

[feedback]

We'd like to help make everyone comfortable here, and we tried to figure out the best way to address the concern you raised.

We've added a 'Full Figured' group into the 'Groups' list and we recommend you update your groups to include yourself in this one.

It is likely that larger women will place themselves within this group along with you, because the term 'Full Figured' is very subjective...but at least you will have a place to add yourself where you feel you are better represented.

Who knows, perhaps this will be the start of a large full-figured section within the site.

Hope that helps!

[luvmbignbrainy]

Your shock and confusion about being told you're not large enough is fairly common in this online subculture. Remember that the man is only speaking for himself --you're not big enough for HIM. There are many men who are only interested in supersized BBW's --SSBBW. Men who prefer SSBBW's often end up at online sites becuase it's very difficult to meet very large women in everyday life. They are relatively rare and many of them seldom go out in public.

On the other hand, men who prefer medium-sized women find it much easier to meet one in real life. They may not need online dating.

(Pity the poor skinny-admirers --they are chasing after an ever-diminishing pool of super-skinnies!)

Consider dating a BHM. They are usually just fine with anyone from full-figured to SSBBW (some may even be skinny admirers!). If you want to be truly accepted, a large man is your best prospect. That's in my admittedly biased opinion (as a fat man).

[georgiegirl_PREV (deleted)]

Thanks for the handy tips and best of luck to all xx tc

[tropicalbreeze]

Okayyyyy. Patience is a virtue and Rome was not build overnight, oh! They usually save the best for last. So I will be veryyyyyyyyyy patient. Um I'm late responding...but um like we do have a life outside of this computer....lol..

[honee_PREV (deleted)]

georgiegirl wrote: Hey to all reading.. As the title suggests I am seeking clarity.. I joined this site several days ago, with no expectations.. if only to broaden my horizons, if you will.. What I am finding is : I don't seem to fit the BBW bill?? I am a full figured girl , yet the men here tell me I am NOT big enough!!?? The dilemma seems to be that I am TOO big for the "normal" dating sites, but not big enough for BBW sites ( quite frankly have had a chuckle or two over this oxymoron). Has anyone else experienced this? Are there any other dating sites for as "Freaks" haha, seriously these subcultures are driving me nuts!. Am not seeking approval,attention nor abuse.. Feed back would be appreciated, perhaps a few handy hints. Cheers to all.

[/b]Hi Georgie!I'm a bit embarrassed because I just noticed that you posted back in July and may not even still be here....but your "finding"fits me as well...I consider myself to be a JUMBO SHRIMP....I am full figured but short...too big for for regular normal dating sites,and not really truely a BBW...I new here as well and don't really know what to expect...
Anyone reading this please feel free to respond.... 8)

Honee
Just your mean and nasty somewhat sarcastic and blind senior citizen!!

[princessofpink]

I have to disagree with you there samuel. Yes there are people that have fetishes and are only interested in for one reason, however there are people out there that just prefer and are attracted to a certain body type. If a man prefers a big woman and the curves and softness that goes with her, that doesn't mean he's only interested in one thing, it just means that's the kind of woman that he likes.


samuel1986 wrote: To tell you the truth if a guy tells you you're not "big enough" you might want to steer clear, they only like BBW's for one reason and one reason alone.

[ivoryjuliet (deleted)]

I have to agree with you POP . Some people have preferences without an alterier motive. I also have to disagree with the fact that BHM are more likely to date any type of woman. No matter what our size we all have our preferences. I know personally, I would never date someone I wasnt attracted to because of my weight.

Keri

[justpeachyinsc]

This is merely my own opinion, but I think that somehow you personally feel out of place rather than the fact that someone else is giving you a label.

If you want to be on a "normal" size dating site then go for it. If you want to be here then go for it. However you have to know yourself and be true to that image in your own mind otherwise your words, actions, and indecision will show that you might not be as secure in yourself and your body image as you should be.

I am a large woman. I am also a woman that doesn't see size when I look in the mirror. I simply see me and I know that what I see is not going to necessarily be what someone else sees. I look at my weight as merely a number because if you were to see me in person you would not believe I weigh more than 350 lbs. I see my age the same way... LOL I've been cracking up over the last few weeks because when my friend and I go out we BOTH get asked for our ID's and I've just spent the last week listening to people at work tell me that they thought I was around 25-27 years old... I am 40 years old.

I don't act 40 years old and I don't act like I weigh 365 lbs so maybe your feelings of not fitting in are what you project and people sense it from you.

I'll bet you are a perfectly sized woman for you... when you come to realize that who you are is not based on the image you think others see you will most likely find that you will fit into any dating site no matter the size. And quite honestly if someone is telling you that you aren't small enough or big enough do you really want to have a relationship with them? If they aren't attracted to you for one reason or another then that is their choice and it doesn't mean that you are wrong for being the size or the person you are... there will be someone that likes you for YOU.

[hippyhound (deleted)]

Everyone has there own opion on size and new sub groups are added but in the end you are what you are so if you are plus size then you are in my opion a BBW.
Now some blokes prefer the top end of the scale and others the low but all that matters is it should be one happy family with no prejudice.

[nightwhispers28]

just peachy.. I admired your post for several reasons.

One.. it just plain rocks I've worked very hard to get myself to exactly that frame of mind. Hasn't always been easy but I'm more on an even keel with my body I think than I have been.

With that said however, I'm encoutering an issue of a different sort I suppose. And this wil totally reveal more about myself than I'm normally used to but what the hell.. I'm learning to take more risks as I grow older too.

The bottom line for me is my health. I'm only 5'2 and weigh well over my size frame I should be. My doctor has said 140 is about a good weight size for me but I topple the scales way over that. The point is.. my health is being affected due to my weight and I have a previous condition that has given me a permanent disability from childhood that I grapple with.

So along with feeling inadequate in the world already (which I'm working to counteract), I have an additional weight issue that I'm struggling with. So while on the one hand I totally support your post in every way and see exactly where your coming from.. but to hold that kind of mindset takes a lot of work and internal dialogue to keep it going. For me, it's exhausting and sometimes it just doesn't always work and I start from square one, sometimes daily. I think it's a natural course of life for some to do that. Others, I think have experiences that are able to shape them into people that don't doubt themselves as much. But then.. what do I know.. I'm not in their shoes and they are not in mine.

Every person makes a conscious choice to feel how each day will begin. Whether it's good or bad is up to them. And whether they are happy with themselves on that day is another choice they make. I'm working on that every single day right now and in the process.. life seems to be passing me by.

So my question is.. how does one stop the crazy cycle of overthinking it and just enjoy it for what it is instead of worrying what it's not? I just want a sweet guy that can appreciate me and all my life issues. I haven't found one yet but I'm also convinced there is someone out there.. I just haven't met him yet. Everyone needs to hope for something, right?

[naturalbeauty (deleted)]

`well i was a bbw, suppose i still am really but im finding a new problem now, and im afraid its only coming from men.

since the beginning of this year i have lost 20kg in weight, and im 6"3 so i still have about another 10-20kg to lose to hit my target weight, but twice this week i have had male from guys, one an ex boyfriend who believe it not girls wants me back know im thinner, to say i was angry was the understatement and yes, i did tell him where to go.

the other was from a guy who had the audacity to say i should be happy know as ive lost weight, he seemed to miss the point that i have always been happy no matter what weight i have been, is anyone else finding this that people dont want to know you why your a bbw, but as soon as you start losing weight they come out of the woodwork. I may be lighter but im still me and i still have feelings.