Hopeless...

[olaleye840 (deleted)]

Does anyone else feel a little hopeless to finding someone who will truly love you for who you are?? I'm only 22 and feeling hopeless in love is no way to live one's life. I'm an active out going fun loving big girl who has many friends and no love life. Maybe i'm trying to hard maybe I need to just sit back and wait... all i know is i am tired of being alone. I know now from this site and others like it it's not because of my weight. Now i just feel like it's just me. Am i alone in these thoughts?? It's nice to read other people's profiles, blogs, and forums about loving BBWs and BHM and whatever and how they appreciate people for who they are. Where are these people in real life? It's inspirational to see BBWs on this sight that are truly beautiful people inside and out, BBW's with nice faces and proportionate bodies... but what if you don't think you have a nice face or a normal body?? Hopeless here wondering if there is anyone out there??

[southernfinery]

`I don't know if you even want my opinion but what I have come to know is that love is never hopeless but can be the longest time dormant.You see it can sleep within our hearts for so very long that we think it is alien to us and at best it will happen to someone we know personally.You see that is what love does,it says catch me if you can but know that when love wills it then love catches you.It always seems to happen when you aren't looking for it or at exactly the time you decide to give up looking for it.In the meantime while true love lies dormant waiting to explode into your life,you must prepare the heart to recieve such love as it so desperately longs for.You see true love is just a word or two away and is close enough for you to look at it in one of the places you have come to almost hate looking into.Yes it is your mirror and yes you are worth loving and you have to find something about yourself that you like and then you must begin to love it.It can be your ears or eyes or the way your nose points a little or whatever it may be but like it then love it.When this happens you will find it easier to look at yourself in the mirror and you will find it easier to smile and actually feel joy when you see others holding hands and planting little soft feathery kisses on each other.It will surprise you and it will empower you.GBU

[obsequium (deleted)]

`@ OP:

I may have misconstrued parts of your post, and if I have, I apologise.. I got the impression that maybe you suffer low self esteem? If I'm way off the mark, please let me know, and I'll delete this post. In any case, here is my response.

I think before you can find someone who truly loves you for who you are, you need to accept yourself for who you are, love who you are. I believe firmly that in order to maintain a successful relationships both parties should have a firm understanding of who they are, and a reasonably healthy level of self esteem. For starters, when you have that down, the confidence borne from that self acceptance is what helps you build towards a relationship.. and in addition it's what prevents the common mistakes that lead to relationships breaking down.

I think everyone has something they're not happy with about themselves, some people have more things than others.. I think a healthy way to look at your self image is looking at the things you don't like about yourself, and dividing them into things you can change, and things you can't. The things you can change.. if they're that important to you.. fix them.. and the things you can't.. just let them go. You don't have to be happy with them, it's just about accepting that they're there, and they aren't going to go away.

As for not having a normal body, or a nice face.. I'm quite against societally imposed standards for beauty.. I believe that aesthetic appreciation is subjective, and statistically speaking there are so many people in the world, with vastly differing tastes.. it's highly unlikely that there aren't a number of people who enjoy a particular body shape or facial appearance that society generally wouldn't consider attractive.

I'm not naive enough to believe that self image can be altered with the words of others, nor do I consider this a healthy thing to do.. but I would like to say that judging by your profile pictures, you do have a 'nice face', and there is also nothing wrong with your body, in my opinion. I generally stray from making personal comments, but I wanted to express that.

[olaleye840 (deleted)]

`@Southernfinery: thanks for your reply and the words of encouragment!
@Obsequium: I really appreciate what you said yes I do know i suffer from low self esteem except I feel my self esteem issues are strictly physical. Which is why i battle with myself so much. I know i'm smart, and fun, and a good person which i guess is why i feel hopeless. Sometimes i feel a little down on myself and hopefully a lot of people do it too. Believe me you are not off the mark u hit the nail on the head. You have given me some great advice as well as some very kind words and i appreciate it so much.

THANK YOU both for your responses!

[cookinbubbles]

`It sucks to be alone. I had my chance at true love and he passed away so now I simply keep an eye open and if, for me, it happens again, great. But if it does not, I will be lonely but I will consider that I had my time.
I think that what we women have to keep in mind is that we outnumber men by a fairly wide margin, and that margin gets bigger as we get older.
It just is a fact.
So, if there are 10 great women and 1 man, 9 are gonna be left out.....
IT just is.
As to self esteem, yup that can be a huge issue and I hope you win the battle with that one.
I waffle between not giving a s--- what others think of me to worrying that maybe I should change something about me. Always waffling....LOL

[sweetmichael (deleted)]

`i bet there a man for all of you :]

maybe he not on this site or he really near by to you
any event i wish the best to all of you!! :]

sorry for the random kindness I'm just being my self :]

[sosterma (deleted)]

`I have the same feelings sometimes. Its hard to be alone, especially at this age when all of my friends are getting married and having babies and I'm still single. I'm tired of being the bridesmaid! I also get stuck being friend material. I love having friends, but you can only be called a friend by so many guys before you'd rather not spend time with them at all.

I don't have low self-esteem, but I understand your point about un-proportional bodies. I have an hour glass figure, big b--bs, but no butt. I read blogs and forums over what guys like and that's always the main thing that they are looking for. The worst thing for me is feeling like I have to find someone who likes a big girl to find love. Where I live, those are hard to come by. I was in a short relationship in May, and one of the reasons that it is over is because I lost 20lbs. I put on that weight because I had had some surgery and I couldn't do much. I couldn't fit in my clothes, and that was unacceptable. He told me he didn't like smaller girls and if I was going to loose more weight he couldn't handle that. Now, I've always been big, and I will probably always be big. But what if I'm not? I don't want someone else to leave me because I got too small to be the bbw that they want. I'm ready to find my true love who will love me no matter what I look like!

Keep your head up, I strongly believe that there is that one person out there fore everyone. You've got to love yourself first, and then hopefully the rest will follow. Good luck!

[olaleye840 (deleted)]

`@Cookinbubbles: Thanks for the words of encouragement!
@Sweetmichael: Judging by your comments on posts and your profile i think who you are is pretty great. You seem really nice an very "sweet" lol thanks!
@sosterma: I have the same problems with the friends issue and it's getting really hard to not just say I don't need any more guy friends. I'm sorry that relationship had to end that way and that's one thing I fear about meeting someone who likes bbw's. What if i lose weight will they still stay with me? I hope I can conquer my self esteem and find a man to love me and who i am and i hope you will find the same too. Thanks for the encouragement!!

[dmccory84 (deleted)]

Don't give up! Someone is out there for you, he will surely come along when the time is right. But in the mean time, just focus on yourself. Do what makes you happy & the rest will fall into place. Judging from your profile, you seem to have a lot to offer! This is all coming from a guy who has been hurt in the past, more than once.