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teri24ns
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![]() Posted: Post subject: Not Real Experienced.... Please HELP |
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How many of you are actually honestly okay with waiting before having --- with someone you've met online?
Do you believe that the woman/man should be willing that very first date? A second date?
Does how far you travel to meet have any say in how patient you may be?
I'm quite conventional & this worries me to no end. I've never really had a 'date' & have no true idea how this stuff works. I want to find someone but don't want to feel like I 'owe' them something for coming to meet me....
Any suggestions & honest answers would be so welcomed...
Thanks
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dennis15
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![]() Posted: Post subject: |
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`Teri,
sometimes its not always easy to travel long distance to meet someone its hard on many people in passions , to really care about that person and you cant break away from responsibilities or it takes a little longer to get to know that person, but you shouldnt feel like you owe them something for meeting them if they care about you the man should come and ease your mind some and be understanding.
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teri24ns
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![]() Posted: Post subject: |
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`Thank you Dennis....
For taking the time to answer. I think it has a lot to do with why I fight myself so much. I don't want to give the wrong impression to guys but I'm fighting my own need for companionship & love. Sometimes, I really am just that screwed up. =(
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dennis15
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![]() Posted: Post subject: |
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`its normal to want companionship and love and acceptance not worrying what others think of you, you shouldnt be so hard on yourself but many people understand the desire for --- but its been a long time it takes a little self esteem and sense of worth to go out and find that right man for you too, he isnt going to knock on your door and there not easy to get here also.
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teri24ns
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![]() Posted: Post subject: |
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I know what you say is true.... Not as easy to do when you're use to being kicked like a dog. Self esteem & high self worth have never been strong points with me but I am actually oodles better than I was.
Hard to tell, but it's true. I guess with me, --- has always been more misses than hits & I've always been the one blamed for the misses. lol. I've gotten to the point where I just assume if anything goes wrong, it must be my fault. It's hard to break that cycle. I'm trying, but there is only so much I can do without reassurances & physical backup. Does that make sense?
I don't know.... Maybe I'm just too messed up for most. lol. It's okay, I'm sure eventually I'll figure out this life, one way or another.
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fanate197
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`You cannot let yourself think that. I know exactly how hard it is to break that cycle of self oppression. Growing up I was abused and blamed for everything. I was told by friends and lovers that I wasn't good for much and I let it play with my head. Once that thought got stuck in my psyche it was very difficult to let go. But it's possible to do and I'd say that if you would like to date others, you should find a way to improve that self image. I am not saying this to be a direct criticism but I've learned from past mistakes that when I had low self esteem, every relationship I was in failed and I brought the blame on myself. Now, to answer the whole --- and travel thing, I can definitely agree with what was said already. Don't feel obligated. In fact, if you had --- with someone because you felt forced and not because you want to then I can guarantee that both of you wouldn't enjoy it as much.
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