It's hard to be a BHM

[slimdigby (deleted)]

It's hard to be a bhm. For one thing and I'm sure a lot of people will agree, big women are beautiful and big women I'm sure don't have too hard of a time finding someone that's willing to date them, but big men on the other hand, well, myself for example , I'm a fat guy, but I have a good personality, and I think I have a nice face at the very least, but I have the hardest time getting a date with anyone. When I was thin I literally had more girls interested in me than I knew what to do with and now that I've gotten so big its tuff. Don't get me wrong I'm still meeting plenty of girls it is just I never get past being just a great friend. I'm not sour about it and friendship is great but I'm really beginning to wonder if there is anyone out there for me and other guys like me. Well if you think you have an answer for me or some kind of insight that can help please let me know. Until then I'll try to keep my head up, and if you're like me I hope you'll do the same. Dusty

[cnipur (deleted)]

Right on, my man. Though I think it's also a different kind of self-confidence issue. I find women, when I really do go looking but I agree it's not as easy as it was when I was 200lbs and fit.

It's all good. That one, adoring, beautiful big woman will be there for you, when you least expect it!

[sheevaa]

`I have to say that if I lived in Montreal or Oklahoma, I'd be hunting you guys down. I don't know, most of my friends and I just love big men. Love being cuddled, feel more secure and just are plain old more attracted to men whose bones we don't feel poking us.
There are all types, but a lot of us bigger women are a lot more shy, so we may be attracted but too nervous to do anything about it. It's kind of a head-scratcher though, a lot of the bigger guys I've approached are only interested in smaller women. So, it's hard to judge who may, or may not just shoot you down for looking:P

We're out there, though! Don't give up:)

[esquisitemirth (deleted)]

Its interesting to hear a man speak this way. In my opinion as a BBW I have always thought that it was easier for men than women to be fat but this comes from the inside looking out. I am a very attractive curvy woman but in my experience for most men, because of my size, it seems to be socially unacceptable to be attracted to a PHAT girl, especially white men, however; I am stronger than the average chic and that seems to be a bit intimidating for alot of guys. Besides the fact that I just made myself sound conceited, I was trying to make a point! LOL! You see darlin being fat today is tough whether you have a weewee or a hoohoo. Its how you present your self and believe in yourself that gets attention. Yes, you may have to work a little harder but the great things in life usually are obtained with hard, frusterating, time consuming, back breaking work. I would prefer to chisel away for that precious gem rather than possess any old rock. Maybe you felt more confident as a 200pnd man than you do at your current weight. Women can sniff out a man lacking of confidence from a mile away. Try doing some self esteem boosting activities like wearing a new shirt that makes you feel sexy or doing something new with your best game face on. I bet you see a little bit of change. Ta Ta 4 now

Esquisitemirth

[judy1958_PREV (deleted)]

slimdigby wrote: It's hard to be a bhm. For one thing and I'm sure a lot of people will agree, big women are beautiful and big women I'm sure don't have too hard of a time finding someone that's willing to date them, but big men on the other hand, well, myself for example , I'm a fat guy, but I have a good personality, and I think I have a nice face at the very least, but I have the hardest time getting a date with anyone. When I was thin I literally had more girls interested in me than I knew what to do with and now that I've gotten so big its tuff. Don't get me wrong I'm still meeting plenty of girls it is just I never get past being just a great friend. I'm not sour about it and friendship is great but I'm really beginning to wonder if there is anyone out there for me and other guys like me. Well if you think you have an answer for me or some kind of insight that can help please let me know. Until then I'll try to keep my head up, and if you're like me I hope you'll do the same. Dusty



it is not easier for bbw's to get dates or not me anyway..maybe i'm not pretty enough for them i dunno buti do know i have a good heart and great personality and if thats not worth getting to know then its their loss..we are who we are and if others can't see us for that and love us as we are then we don't need them..we're better off alone..there is someone for you and me we just have to be patient and as hard as that is its our only choice i think..good luck to you and keep smiling,things will be ok in time..

[judy1958_PREV (deleted)]

slimdigby wrote: It's hard to be a bhm. For one thing and I'm sure a lot of people will agree, big women are beautiful and big women I'm sure don't have too hard of a time finding someone that's willing to date them, but big men on the other hand, well, myself for example , I'm a fat guy, but I have a good personality, and I think I have a nice face at the very least, but I have the hardest time getting a date with anyone. When I was thin I literally had more girls interested in me than I knew what to do with and now that I've gotten so big its tuff. Don't get me wrong I'm still meeting plenty of girls it is just I never get past being just a great friend. I'm not sour about it and friendship is great but I'm really beginning to wonder if there is anyone out there for me and other guys like me. Well if you think you have an answer for me or some kind of insight that can help please let me know. Until then I'll try to keep my head up, and if you're like me I hope you'll do the same. Dusty



it is not easier for bbw's to get dates or not me anyway..maybe i'm not pretty enough for them i dunno buti do know i have a good heart and great personality and if thats not worth getting to know then its their loss..we are who we are and if others can't see us for that and love us as we are then we don't need them..we're better off alone..there is someone for you and me we just have to be patient and as hard as that is its our only choice i think..good luck to you and keep smiling,things will be ok in time..

[southernfinery]

`gotta love those folks so full of self esteem that they can't be bothered to post a pic.If ya think it is easier for this group over that group then your mistaken.What kind of adult lets society dictate how they relate to others especially those their interested in? If I remember correctly my school yrs(ok yes that was a long time ago) that was where I saw that kind of behavior.Tell me pls why do folks choose to continue along those lines when their grown?It is a chose like picking out an outfit or holding the door for someone or giving someone a smile and an acknowledgement just for being human.How is it possible to blame society as a whole for your individual choices?It's almost as sick as someone claiming the reason they se---lly ed their child is because they were ed as a child.When you look in your mirror how many ppl do you see looking back at you?When you wash how many ppl are in the shower with you?When you die how many ppl are in the grave with you?I think therefore I am not we think therefore we are.gbu all and good luck and just for the record I don't have any better luck then anyone else getting a date.

[easilyamusedor (deleted)]

`I have to go on the internet to get a date. Enough said. So if it's so much easier for us big women to get a date, why am I sitting here alone on a friday night?

[easilyamusedor (deleted)]

`also, I"ve been on other dating sites and have tried to connect with BHM's, and been rejected because I'm a big woman.

[mstaken]

`I think it's hard for all of us. BHM and BBW.

[southernfinery]

`amen to that statement easilyamusedor and I congratulate you for saying what needed to be said.I believe that alot if not most of these guys,be them stick figures or walking bears,want a trophy for arm and eye candy.I mean if these guys really really wanted to have a meaningful lasting relationship wouldn't they try to say hi or to at least be civil in at least commenting in these forums or responding when they are sent a smile but no they read your profile looking for key words like"groupie,se---lly frustrated,desperate looking,or married,or living with significant other.Most even put on their profiles that they are looking for S-- and just s--.I mean no they don't need to know your name nor do they care if you have two eyes or two legs but it is imperative that your mouth work but not for talking and that your vagina is intact.So do me a favor if you find someone real on here pls make sure you post it ok and good luck sweety.I have been told that finding someone is like watching the phone.You know how they say that a watched phone never rings and I believe that if you are looking real hard then the undetectable real man can't be seen.I think we need to take this to a higher power.

[easilyamusedor (deleted)]

`I finally got an email on here!!! woohoo! ok, so he's several hundred miles from me!

Southernfinery, I don't know about you but I am in rural america, I go check out all the sites, not desperate, but for one thing it's something to do, for another, who knows, I just might meet someone nice and decent. but I notice that here it's all the same faces on the sites of men in my area. Now, I've been on these sites, and NONE have contacted me. Many are still actively looking but why don't they contact me? Or even respond back when I try to make contact with them.

I don't understand the preoccupation with "appearance" that is so prevalent on dating sites. I have my tastes, but I'm not choosing someone solely on whether or not they have the physical traits that attract me, but men seem to be more visual creatures. I think they hold out for the more slender women, so when I see them posting in forums B----ing and whining why women won't go out with them blah blah blah, it makes me laugh! OR whine that they were taken advantage of....or cheated on.

I was on bbpeople meet and yahoo personals, a guy from both sites got in contact with me, we went out then poof he was gone. I did observe, however that although he had a face photo on yahoo personals, on the bbw site, he had no photo. He is still on the bbw site and active there but still no photo.

I think that says alot, also his handle on the two sites was different, so I think there are many men trolling the bbw sites just looking to get laid and they assume that we are desperate and therefore "easy".

I'm sure there are an equal amount of women who would go after a BHM assuming that they could take the guy for what he's worth, have their fun and move on.

I put up a profile on plenty of fish on sunday, so far just got one email and he's in texas! haahaahaahaa ( I'm in oregon )

[southernfinery]

`hi again easilyamusedor,I think your going to be soooo disappointed with plentyofish.Those folks are some of the most judgemental ppl I have ever had the misfortune of walking into.Even though the site is free it will cost you in your emotions.It is a total waste of time and the guy who put it online is canadian and extremely politically motivated.Before the elections they had forums going to bash mccain and to build up obam.Have you heard of paltalk?It is a site that you can download and the basic is free.They have lots of rooms including music rooms and you can open your cam in the rooms also.You can view the other cams also.They have rooms on there for bbw's and they cam up.You can show your face or whatever.Just be careful especially when they ask you if u can see their cam because that usually means they are wanking lol.I hope this guy that emailed you is a nice man and a gentleman so let me know ok.Good luck sis and pray for me pls.

[easilyamusedor (deleted)]

`Oh I know what you mean, I've been on POF since sunday and have only heard from one, so far no others and there are literally thousands of men in oregon on there so I know what you mean.

I no longer have any faith in online dating. Simply because all the people on it are superficial. The men love it because they have so many choices and they don't have to settle for just one, they can bypass the bbw's because they can get the hotties or slender women and lots of them.

Just look at the amount of men who's profile pic shows them next to a boat, a sports car, a harley....or a beautiful home. I'll keep ya in my prayers.

As far as the guy who emailed me, haven't heard from him since

[hyugabear (deleted)]

`So true women have it easy compare to us xD