what happened to kissing and holding hands?

[daydreamer86 (deleted)]

I wonder the same thing. I was watching Tough Love (i like it and i don't care haha) and what the guy said rang true to me, once you have --- there is no turning back. So basically If I like you I like to wait why? Because I like you so much that I want it to be special. It might sound a little high schoolish but I feel like when I have --- with someone I am giving a piece of myself and I have to make sure that they deserve it (not in a vain way). So I do like holding hands, kissing, making out, cuddling, the whole build up to haveing ---. And I don't like it all in one date either. So basically I totally understand where you're coming from.

[andriek]

I agree with thulsadoom, and sweetnsarcastic.

but as for me I like to hold hands/cuddle whenever I can. With my ex I would hold her hand walking around, or I would put my arm around her. Once we were out talking to some friends about what we were going to do next (we went to an art thing then we were deciding what to eat) I was bored ( I didn't care and actually drove like 7 hours that day) and wrapped my arms around her. Finally after we would go out to eat and we sat there talking I would do one of a few things, I would hold her hand, or rubbed the back of her hand, or held her arm, or rubbed her arm.

i have like no idea where this --- on the first date came from either, everyone I know doesn't do that.

[mizcurious3 (deleted)]

`in my opinion, --- on the first date usually never leads to a relationship. Although there are always exceptions to any statement.

Some guys are just looking for that fling, kinda girl because they aren't capable of giving more. One of my best friends has a different girl every other week. And although I don't agree, he does tell them that he isn't looking for more then just some fun. I'm sure he's broken plenty of hearts. But I think guys aren't the only ones that sometimes expect --- on the first date. I've known girls that don't go out with a guy again cause he didn't put out. So, maybe it goes both ways.

I don't understand why someone wouldn't want that cuddling, kissing, snuggling, getting to know someone part of dating. How else will you know how to please someone if you don't stop and get to know them?

[1957wkw]

itshard2behuman wrote: what happened to kissing and holding hands? how do men express their interest if not through body language and touch? how can i spend a whole day with this guy, he doesnt try to kiss me once, but when i fall asleep in his bed (it was a long drive home and a long day) he feels me up after the lights are out. and then he's a distant jerk the next morning. and when did it become okay to just ask a woman on a first date if she would have --- with you. yes my body language was flirtatious, but, can't you just respond with some flirtatious body language and not have conversations about hypothetical ---. is intimacy no longer linear to men? why doesnt it start with some sort of touch and then holding hands and then kissing and making out and then sex, not necessarily all in one date, but you know. does it really not work that way any more? its so confusing and disorienting when its not linear like that. is it just a coincidence that i had two dates in a row where the guy was totally socially inept and unable to read or respond to body language? i have a lot of questions. can i get an answer or two?



I wouldn't even have commented in here last year because I never even had a gf until recently, but here goes: I met a BBW on another site last summer with a back disability who could not be on her feet more than a few minutes at a time, so we just became email/chat friends for 4 months. Then she invited me to xmas dinner with her extended family and we just hit it off so fast. I learned real quick how fun it was just to hold hands and interlock fingers and stroke her arm for an entire DVD movie, and kiss, and cuddle. --- was out because of a hysterectomy she had right after new years. So we HAD to wait 2 months. (she was eager too) But it was sooooooooooo much fun just cuddling all night long every weekend I was with her. And holding hands during TV shows and movies. --- didn't change anything. Just made it even more enjoyable. The disability became an issue and she ended it. I just hope I can find that again soon.

[nicki (deleted)]

`I think it still exists but as time progresses I think so does everything else...its not only men its us too...we are more progressive, we want equality etc etc but for certain things its nice to have some chivalry, but as everyone is different how are we to know what to do for the best...some women think hand holding and kissing is old school, I think its nice as it gives an instant connection...also mixed signals come along as well, does hand holding and kissing have to lead to sex, obviously not...as for the guy you were dealing with, it sounds to me one of two ways, one he didn't know how to approach you until the lights were out or two didn't want anything else but a quick fix...either way if you wanna hold hands or cuddle or do whatever you think is romantic or sweet be clear about what you want and what you are willing to give...once again I go to give my 5 cents worth and spent a dollar LOL