How hard are you on yourself?

[easilyamusedor (deleted)]

I have been overweight all of my life. I have been reminded of it almost daily for the past 45 and a half years. It wasn't bad enough dealing with the teasing in school, I had to endure more at home from my step father and brothers.

I can remember just walking home from school or going to a friend's house and a car would drive past and the passengers would shout things at me because of my weight. I still remember the "NO fat chicks" bumper stickers and t shirts from the early 80's.

I try to be a positive person but with each and every year, I become less and less the happy go lucky person I once was. With every failure, every mistake, every bad event, every failed relationship all the hateful fat directed insults come back loud and clear, like it was yesterday.

No man here shows any interest in me so I start checking out dating sites only to find out it's even worse. The men show interest untl they find out my true size only to tell me they are looking for someone smaller.

I don't know how any BBW can have any sort of self esteem when society dictates that we are the worst of the worst.

[southernfinery]

`My heart breaks when I read these posts and mainly because alot of them are former members.I wish they would stay but the feelings of rejection are overwhelming so many here.The idea of getting up the next day just to be rejected again is tearing their souls into.I can hear the beauty from within these ppl and I understand completely the feelings of isolation and rejection.Society as a whole isn't where we should focus our attention but let's put it back in the lap of the individual thinker.I decide how I am going to react to another and how I am going to dress for the day,not society.I decide what profession I am going to get training in and where I will put in applications or turn in resumes',not society.I decide how and for whom I will cast a vote for because at this time we are pushed really hard to be individually motivated for our family and our country.When it is convenient then I take a stand for indiviuality but when I need a crutch or a fallguy then I say it was peer pressure from society----the only thing wrong with that last sentence was that it was a big fat lie!There are alot of parents and I have to wonder what the conversation is in the morning for those that wish to blame society for their individual choices.I think it might go something like this---John,mary I want you to go out there today and make as big a difference as you can without pushing the society envelope to far.If you find yourself being looked at and/or expected to explain a certain action or a verbal response you have been preprogrammed by us your parents to give to others or about others sharing the same air as you then say"it was due to peer pressure and therefore not my fault completely"now go out there and make us proud and remember john don't talk to the fat,short,or those wearing glasses as those are the ones we frown upon.Mary go be an individual woman comfortable in your own skin but remember no guy wants a fat chick.

[heartnsoul58 (deleted)]

`I just trip when I see a really great looking bbw lady and I forget not to look away and she seems to get annoyed. Sure I know politically correct men arent supposed to notice if youre attractive nowdays. But on the other hand, I cant help but wonder if modern life and silly fashion mags has this bbw woman's self image all wacked, feeling like she cant be cute enough to be stared at, so something must be pervy-wrong with me for loving her looks??

[purpleheart090 (deleted)]

`I personally am never sure what to think if I see a man looking at me. I've been overweight all of my life, and while I have been made fun of because of it I never let it affect my personality too much. I act nice to everyone and used to be very talkative and would say " hello " to people even if they hadn't said anything to me but when I see a man look at me and smile I'm not sure if he thinks I'm attractive or if he thinks it's humorous that I'm fat. I have been told by my fiance's cousin that I'm " cute, for a fat chick " but mentalities differ and I know some people laugh at those who aren't skinny. Many people have told me I have a beautiful face but I'm still uncomfortable with it, especially when I'm not wearing make-up. In fact, I refuse to leave my house without any on. My body is decent at best, I have slightly curvy hips but people can't really tell unless what I'm wearing is skin tight... the problem is I never wear tight clothes.