We Are NOT DESPERATE!

[dovelylady]

In my life I have felt that bbw are not appreciated. We are constantly looked past and pushed to the side as if we are insignificant. I have found men that say that they like bbw but some of them want us so that they can have someone to push over and control. I believe that they think that we are so desperate for a man that we will accept anything. That is a big lie. I admit that there may be some bbw who have low self-esteem and feel that they have to succumb to nonsense. However, most of us truly love ourselves and we refuse to take bs from any man. I am one of those women for I love myself and I can always do bad by myself. The bible states that we are fearfully and wondefully made by God. Therefore, don't have a pity party thinking that you are not all that and a bag of chips. Every woman is beautiful, especially bbw. We deserve the very best from a man and he better give it or he can kick rocks. Love yourself ladies and never feel that he is doing you a favor by being your man. Yet, he should be happy to have you. You are his blessing.

[snoweydove1 (deleted)]

you said it right there.
I think that when a BBW has been hurt, either mentally or physically, that it does lower her self-esteem and it takes a good man to help her see that she is a strong, beautiful and very worthwild lady.

[mooninstitches (deleted)]

Im sorry at some point youve not felt appreciated. I think as a society we all fail to show/tell people we appreciate them a majority of the time. It happens to everyone, no matter the size of someone. What it amounts to is no one can make you feel a certain way, unless you already feel that way. I think people in general put their own value into the hands of people they shouldnt. Self love and self appreciation is where the answer lays, not in a good man/woman.

[fallenangel24 (deleted)]

You are so right, I havent met one person one man rather that are happy to have us, and we are not desperate, I have met many woman that are BBWs that we have promised to never be controlled by a man just because we are different. I love the end that you say we should love ourselves and they should be lucky, we are all special and unique and the men that will have us should be proud.

FallenAngel24

[southernfinery]

`I find truth and hope in this for a new movement among bbw'S and that is that we stop seeing ourselves in the way others wish for us to see ourselves but instead see ourselves the way God sees us.Yes we are all made wonderfully and ladies are even more uniquely skulpted and wonderfully made because we are made from a bone like fine china.Some have such body image issues that even when you try to say something positive they take it and turn it around to mean what only they can understand which is something negative.My heart bleeds for them and even more so for the ones not able to see the forest for the trees.My hope and prayer is that we stop all this separation nonsense and just see ourself for the unique creation that we are and realize that no other is to be exactly like me because I am a creation not an evolution.I appreciate this post and the posters and I hope you all are finding peace within urself and exceptance within and without.gbu

[truckerjerry (deleted)]

`your right southern it is sad .
i met a woman 3 days ago that i still think about .
i would say that she was 35 to 45yrs old
just up to the #2 mount on my truck so maybe 5'3
about 200 maybe 240 lbs.
certainly a perfect size 14
sorta large chest, maybe C or D
long hair , so i could not help it of course i stared
well she noticed and walked over, asked me if i "had a damn problem" and i said yea i think your hot so yea of course i am staring.
she said ME HOT? go ---- yourself , and walked away
so i have been thinking for some time . is there any real reason why we are all suppose to get hot for a size 2 ? cause i have never met one of them worth sayin howdy to. think what you will ladies.

[southernfinery]

I can only summize that she has been at the recieving end of alot of negative wording that may have lent to putting her on the defensive.It's not easy carrying your own weight and the weight of the fears of so many especially if it started in your own home for you when you were a childYou must understand that sometimes what you see is actually achild still fighting for recognition for being a human.A human with feelings and hopes and dreams who so desperately needs someone to see them for who they are and not for what they wish they were.Sight is a beautiful thing but only if you can truly see.gbu all.

[duckiemonroe (deleted)]

`I think that it is hard for a BBW to grow up in today's society and not have some kind of self confindance issue. It took me a long time to deal with the fact that some men actually like my body. There were the feelings of gratefulness to any man I dated, like they were "looking past" my apperance and into my personality. There is also the other spectrum. For a girl that had those self confidance issues and suddenly realized that she could be a S-- object...one could go a little bit crazy. I just hope most young BBW have the stability of mind to not choose the latter path as I did.

[truckerjerry (deleted)]

`i would like to ask a few of you ladies to read my forum post
advertising vs reality
truth in advertising
and please comment

[nataliemuse]

`I think that everyone has the right to like whatever type they choose....and just because I'm bigger, doesn't mean I have to settle for whoever throws a kind note my way....Sometimes I wish I wasn't so picky, but you can't really help who you are attracted to....and I feel the same is true of everyone....If someone doesn't give me a shot because they don't like fat chicks, I understand.....I won't date just anyone either....It's all personal preference...What I'm definitely not, is desperate...I'm just careful :)

[sheevaa]

`I think I tend to give guys that I'm not initially attracted to more of a chance to grow on me, than if I had grown up smaller. Still, Natalie is right we all have our own preference in what we like.
Just because one guy doesn't think you're beautiful, doesn't mean the next guy who fits what you like won't.

I know truckerjerry's point though. If I get compliments, or a guy flirting with me, I'm immediately on the defensive. Waiting for him to start making fun of me or use me for something. I'm trying hard to curb that, honestly, we're not in Jr. high anymore. Any guy that would do something like that at my age is seriously a headcase anyway and needs help.

[prophetic]

`You have every bit of my respect for this post.
I may have low self esteem due to the media, but I'll be damned if I become a chewtoy for someone who had nil respect for me. I am a living being and I should be treated as such, not an item to be tossed aside after some needs are met for a guy.

[southernfinery]

`Amen sister prophetic amen

[anainthestars (deleted)]

`I think that because the media focuses on skinny, fit, perfect and so does society...I mean my sis (who's always lived in a small country town and has now moved to the big city) seemed to think that fat women never get asked out, never have S-- etc...but the truth of the matter is...we do! its ignorance...and abusers don't look for fat people specifically, they look for kind people who are passionate about love, that have self esteem issues, that have been abuse, that have difficulties standing up for themselves, people they can control....sometimes its fat people but also thin, young, old...abusers don't discriminate....

[vikingwolfie (deleted)]

`i think you all have a point but i have to say before i meet my wife i spent most of my nights alone cuess like i said in another post i am not atracted to thin skinny girls there vane and think there beter then everyone else i amke damn good money but would much rather spend it on a bbw woman then i ever would a skinny girl but i find even on here its hard for me to get a message back from alot of the girls on this site its self i sent out 22 messages in 3 day just saying hello or telling ladies how god they looked and asking if you could if anything just be friends and i got 2 replys back and both of them was no i cam to this site cuss i truly am a bbw lover and i truly believe that bbw woman are beautifulim not here thinking ill get a easy lay or that you ladies are desspret or easy but that you all are lovly and i kinda feel like some of you talk about being rejected all the time and im mostly here to make friends and yes i would love to find a girl that would like to sleep with me but it would not be a one night stand a i said before im in a open marrige and my wife is ill but wants me happy i have a vary high S-- drive and i always go out of my way to make sure my partner is pleased well be for i am
anyways if im on the wrong site somen please tell me so and ill leave you all be