BBW v BHM

[guynotorious (deleted)]

In my experiance talking about dating with women, there is one thing that comes up over and over again without fail:

"It's easier to be bigger if you're a guy than if you're a woman"

I don't necessarily agree with this. Granted, it can be difficult to approach members of the opposite S-- if you are a BBW (Especially if you have self esteem issues), but I feel as though big guys are seen as immune to the prospect of getting shot down due to their size. Anyone else share this viewpoint?

[sheevaa]

`Personally, I think it is easier in a way. Of course, I'm a big woman, not a man, so my view is biased.

I think society is a little easier on big men as opposed to big women. TV shows, movies and magazines will show a family with a big man and a thin wife. Very rarely will you see the opposite.
Men will see the exercise mags, and some movies/shows showing ripped guys with muscles bulging everywhere. Women get it in magazines, TV, movies, family, peers. People are okay with the fat guy getting the girl in the end. People wonder what the hell is wrong with a guy that ends up with a fat girl. Why he's "settling"?

However, one thing I've noticed with some of the larger men in my life is that they take a lot of abuse, and put up with it. People "joke" a lot, really hurtful things under the guise of playing around. Heaven forbid the guy get upset.
You don't really see that too often with women after a certain age, because people don't want to seem like their being jerks.

Wow, that was a whole lot of blah blah blah, sorry:P In any event, as for rejection, I couldn't really say. Hurts either way, whatever gender.

[guynotorious (deleted)]

`Haha, in regards to the abuse, that's true. I personally hate the term "big guy". But you do make a good point about big guys in the media. I think that's related in a way to the funny fat guy stereotype...

[southernfinery]

`well as for the funny fat guy thing in the shows the only one that comes to mind is the comic"family guy"which imo should be banned from all public viewing.Dan Blocker was a big guy and he was one of the main characters on the western series"Bonanza".Then there was the big man Dan Haggerty that went on to have his own series"gentle Ben".Oh now there was John Candy who was an excellent comedic actor.He played in such comedies as"The Great Outdoors"with Annette Bening and Dan Ackroyd(one of the original blues brothers).You know now that I think about it,some of the early screen sirens had fuller figures like Mae West and the curvy Jane Russell.Then there was Marilyn Monroe and yes there are quit a few that claim that the size 14 she reportedly wore back then is what we call a 6 now rofl,can anyone else say hogwash.You simply can't have curves like that and not have some meat on your bones .So what happened?Who was responsible for the negative turn in public opinion,I wonder.

[guynotorious (deleted)]

`John candy was awesome. If you look now though, there are a lot of sitcoms on the air that feature a fat guy married to a thin woman.

[southernfinery]

`I keep seeing in my minds eye"The house of payne",sitcom by Tyler Perry.Oh I do remember"Family Matters" and "Fresh Prince of Bel-
air",now these are both examples of what your talking about.The sitcoms that I watch mostly are about single people like "The Big Bang Theory" and"The Rules of Engagement".......I do feel like feelings aren't given the consideration they should nowadays.I also think that alot of the negative verbal assaults or slinging could be delinquished with the use of good manners.Also thinking before one spoke should always be in play especially when one is in public.I find myself having to bite my lip sometimes to stop from telling some to get control of their mouth and stop acting so uneducated and so brain-fried.lol

[xbubblyx]

`It's another one of those gender based double-standards from what I see. Society is little easier on heavier guy versus a heavier woman because it's "okay" for a man to be bigger. But as for a woman, we're "supposed" to be thin and eat daintily, therefore it makes it a tad easier for a guy than a woman to be overweight, socially I mean, but like Sheevaa said, guys take some digs amongst their buddies and others that I would bless out for saying to me.

Just throwing it out there, but I think stores don't cater to heavier women as they do heavier men. Then again, that may be because men and women's clothes are made differently. I do remember when I could go into a PacSun store and see guys as heavy as me wearing Fox Rancing shirts, but I couldn't fit into one unless it was made for a male.

[ggr1972 (deleted)]

if it is easier for me than the big gals..I feel real sorry for them. but I have my doubts...in as far as I know guys who will go out with anyone who says yes (after all of the rejections) know many more gals who refuse to "compromise"

[simplysouthern9]

`What I am seeing nowadays is a lot of BHM dating smaller woman. I believe they are realizing what they are missing and us BBWs have know all along!!

[ggr1972 (deleted)]

sheevaa wrote: `Personally, I think it is easier in a way. Of course, I'm a big woman, not a man, so my view is biased.

I think society is a little easier on big men as opposed to big women. TV shows, movies and magazines will show a family with a big man and a thin wife. Very rarely will you see the opposite.
Men will see the exercise mags, and some movies/shows showing ripped guys with muscles bulging everywhere. Women get it in magazines, TV, movies, family, peers. People are okay with the fat guy getting the girl in the end. People wonder what the hell is wrong with a guy that ends up with a fat girl. Why he's "settling"?

However, one thing I've noticed with some of the larger men in my life is that they take a lot of abuse, and put up with it. People "joke" a lot, really hurtful things under the guise of playing around. Heaven forbid the guy get upset.
You don't really see that too often with women after a certain age, because people don't want to seem like their being jerks.

Wow, that was a whole lot of blah blah blah, sorry:P In any event, as for rejection, I couldn't really say. Hurts either way, whatever gender.






Testify!!!!

[greatenchantres]

`Ok, I m gonna try to give an answer to this.

A. Regarding the way one FEELS deep inside, probably overweight men and overweight women feel the same. Allow me to use the word "fat". I know that for a lot of people the "f word" is banned, as it is considered rude and an insult. I personaly, after having read some fat liberation literature, I start to believe in reclaiming the word fat as a word that is descriptive not as a word that is hurtful. Same has been done by the black people, in claiming back the word black as descriptive, and I feel it is the right way to go.

Anyway, fat people have a certain psychology (in the WESTERN world, but we are not talking about Mauritania now anyway) which of course is formed and shaped by the way fat is viewed in the media.

B. When it comes to SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE, being a fat male is completely an other story than being a fat female.

This is very obvious also in groups such as Overeaters Anonymous, and all sorts of therapy groups around eating disorders and such. The percentage of MEN attending is like 1 to 20. Which clearly shows how men, might be feeling bad about their weight in general, but the do not get the URGENT feeling that women get, when it comes to being socialy accepted, hence they do not really feel the need to attend such groups.

To sum up, eating disorders related groups, are populated BY WOMEN, not because men do not suffer from ED, but simply because they do not think its such big of an issue that would influence their functionality to a great extend.

C. Media coverage : I would disagree that fat men are portraid better than fat females in the media. The fat person is always seen as either: ugly, pathetic, boring, funny in the sense of the village clown, lazy, the focus point of ridicule in many movies as well.

So no, fat males and females alike, are portrayed in a lame way.

Yes, indeed, fat males are portrayed having "drop dead gorgeous" female girlfriends but not that often really.

On the contrary fat females are portreyed as the worst thing that can happen to you ever, usually as nymphomaniacs that would do anything to get laid, and as women that do not look after themselves at all and look miserable most of the time.

So, yes they are biased in the way they create the fat nation's image, and things are a little bit better for men, but hey... do not kid yourselves... There will never be a film or series soon enough, where the "handsome" character will be the fat character.

Usually fat people are secondary roles, the funny friend, the supporting friend and so on.

D. Socialy, what does really happen?
If you go to jstor, and download some academic researches around the issue, you will find out that indeed socially the fat female is totally anacceptable, and is often considered a shame or "unfu*able" to put it in a slang term.

The society today attacks primarly the females, as the female image promoted is NOT volumous.

In opposition, the dominant male image promoted, IS volumous, it is just not fat. But still volumous. In that sense men that are skinny, feel socially unaccepted in the same way the fat men feel socially unaccepted.

On the contrary skinny females feel all right, as a matter of fact there is the mainstream moto "you can never be too rich and too thin"... so you get the idea.

Anyway, men seem to be swallowing a lot of the oppression the society imposes on them, based on their bodyforms, and they try to ignore it, while women seem more affected by it.

There is an interesting book called "the fat talk", it is a Harvard investigation I thnk, about how women LOVE to talk about fat, losing weight, dieting etch. It is like the new way of bonding with new people, doing the fat talk.

So yes, magazines and tv do attack the fat female, but she attacks her own self, first and foremost.

I really believe that books such as "Fat! So?" should be a core reading for any fat person, as we need to re-identify ourselves as worthy, s----l, erotic beings... Just as much as the next think cover girl.

Blessed Be you all

[ggr1972 (deleted)]

well we guys are used to rejection. lol