Tips for a Virgin (No Pun Intended)

[quirkymeggy]

Uncommon as it may be, I am a virgin. It's not for religious reasons or anything. It's really about finding someone I trust enough to completely give myself over to. He'll have to be patient, because I have no idea how long it will take for me to get comfortable with him in that way.

For now, though, who's got tips for a virgin?

Ladies, what do you like best or what should I ask for when the time comes?

Men, what do YOU like best or what should I OFFER when the time comes?

Just curious about a "bigger" perspective on things.

[styx09 (deleted)]

`I'm actually where you are quirkymeggy. I'd also like to see where others stand on this and get some advice. ^_^

[ginnjuice]

`I am not sure of the question here? But i do give you kudos for waiting for *the right one* Although i say that loosely. Cause even sometimes when you have a good feeling about someone it can blow up in your face. I will just say that i wish i waited longer than i did. But live and learn i guess.

[southernfinery]

`unless your looking to change this soon and are using it as a strong selling point IT shouldn't be mentioned.This is one,if not the most,of the most private and personal things about you imo.It should be treated with the same level of respect as is given to any china shop display when you are near it.

[quirkymeggy]

To alleviate the implication that I may be some brand of prostitute (i.e. using my virginity as a "selling point"), I will say this:

I believe that my virginity, rather than being stashed away and kept a secret, should be acknowledged up-front. It's not bait, but a courtesy. I don't want a man to feel betrayed when he finds out, and I don't have time to waste and anger to spare for a man who finds out too late and spends his nights putting pressure on me.

My questions stand. I simply want to adopt what knowledge I can and do away with naivete and excess folly. That's all.

I apologize if this response seems harsh, but the last thing I want is for any man or any other woman to think I'm "using" my virginity in any way. It is not a thing to be used, but a condition to be maintained or let by.

[bbwhockeychik9 (deleted)]

`I too am a virgin and have "lost" many relationships due to the fact that the man was unwilling to wait until I was ready. I believe the right man will come along who is willing to wait. I am upfront about it too, because the last thing I want is to get a few months in and have my partner be ready for that step and then "drop the bomb", so to speak, about how I'm not ready. I believe in full disclosure once it appears the relationship is becoming exclusive.

[southernfinery]

`I never meant to imply you were something common or unclean.I guess the informality of people kinda gets to me sometimes.I must also say that it is a terrible thing when young ladies should be made to feel as though they need to explain why they choose not to protray a geshia from the word go.I guess that I have also been out of the loop for so long and that is why I find it shocking to think that ladies need to reveal such a private thing to young men that aren't going to be around or may stay a few weeks longer(based on your answer).I don't think that those kind of guys would interest me at all.Your virginity is a speacial present that is for the one who you decide to spend the rest of your life with.I know that may sound silly to some of the newagers but women are the ones that carry the next president of our united states or carry the next martin luther king jr. or the next albert einstein.We are special vessels for life and our wombs are the center of where this new life will begin.We nourish and love this new life before we are able to see it because we know that this life is special.It doesn't matter if they become a world leader or a butcher because it is still a life that we are given to bring into the world.That center of you should be treated as special as it really is.It's not your vein of existence but it is a very attractive icing for your cake.What is in the cake is all about your mind and your heart and with these two things you should be able to catch the man that is set to be yours by the hand of the almighty God.In any case GBU all

[quirkymeggy]

Southernfinery, maybe you're right. I know I completely agree with you about the beauty of virginity and the weight that the commitment carries. I agree with the value you assign to it.

I think it's just in my nature to be extremely open about myself. I'm not very good at being mysterious or keeping my own secrets. I sort of feel that I should be as transparent as possible with everyone I care about or care for.

At the same time, though, I can see the merit of stashing away a few secrets, or rather revealing things in a well-timed and selective manner. I really can. It just seems, for me, counter intuitive.

Different strokes for different folks, eh? :D

[sirhansumransum (deleted)]

You are amongst a breed of women that hold their heads HIGH and I Feel you have yet to reach your plateau. Have fun and enjoy life as you are.

For all the love that is squandered, I will be there to pick up the peaces.

[punkiimunkii (deleted)]

`Querkymeggy first of all, props for having your V-card still, lol, we are in same boat. I am also a virgin, and i am wanting to wait till i mean the right one.

I guess I cant really answer your OP, but i can say that each guy is different and will respond differently to a Virgin who's wanting to wait. The best thing is to be upfront and honest, but i am sensing that you already are. and i would say that when and if you become ready just tell him. if you wnt him so go slow about it (like not rush into it) tell him. or if your ready to jump the wagon, then hop on

Again not sure if it will help but there's m 2cents

[faust666]

`Iv been studying --- & relationships & humans chemistry when it comes to sex/relationships/love since i was 15 (I am now 19)
any questions just ask me. I know most stuff of the top of my head, if not i can find it easly in one of my books which i keep on my desk.

Oh, when you feel like your ready for it, let him know. & ask that he start of with his fingers that way you get kinda use to feeling to it. It wont hurt as much.

[lvkelley (deleted)]

`I was a virgen til 24 and lost it to my now BFF of 16 years. Such am amazing and very safe night with him.