"Men don't like Drama."

[ricofederico (deleted)]

I think what most people are referring to when they talk about "drama" is melodramatic behavior.

One should keep in mind that there is a tendency to define a rule by its exceptions, a major logical misstep. For instance, overreacting to a tense or stressful situation is obviously dramatic, and constitutes drama. An exception to this perception of drama would be an individual who feels that another individual simply expressing his or her emotions in a warm, or calm, manner, is being overly dramatic - as in the example above of the man who felt it was too dramatic for a girl to express her deeper feelings for him only some months into a relationship. This is an example of the less tolerant end of the stress-tolerant spectrum. On the other end, you might imagine a loud, out-of-control, hotheaded individual who maybe feels that people do not make a big enough deal out of the problems in their lives, asserting, perhaps, that they can change nothing if not dramatically. Such an individual would be an example of the more tolerant end of the stress-tolerant spectrum.

Again, individuals with views like these are exceptions to the average. Taken as such, these views should not be held as the definitions of drama, but rather as what they are: the exceptions to the average view. I would assert that the average view of "too much drama", in the street sense, is a sensitive situation compounded by unwarranted stress. Strictly speaking, of course. One should take care to not define a concept or rule by its exceptions. ;)

[hwyangel1967 (deleted)]

`The best way to confuse a man is...CRY. They have no idea what to do. LOL. I think its more about the man being confused and frustrated. When it comes to emotions you almost have to talk to them like children. I had a boyfriend once that liked me being big. But he also like to get hold of that love handle and pinch. I would say: "Ouch! STOP THAT" but he would keep doing it. I guess he thought he was just being cute. Now I'm normally a non violent person but, One day I just punched him in the arm and told him: " see, It hurts. Now stop." He just grinned at me but he finally stopped.

[ettaj1]

`I had to laugh when I read your post.. I've found that men are filled with just as much drama as women. SOME have a different way of expressing it. LOL It just makes me think of an ex... thanks for the laugh!

[mertensjerry (deleted)]

`well as for MY opinion, us men aren't afraid of a "stronger connection" in fact, trying to find that connection is nearly always on my mind.

as for what constitutes drama????? well that really changes alot from one guy to another but as for myself, if you have a problem, but won't fix the problem, or let us "men" fix the problem for you, but all you do is talk about the problem, thats DRAMA!!

or at the hollidays, lets say your whole family hates each other and never wants to see each other, and is constantly stabbing one another in the back, but you expect to have us go to that "holliday family event" with you, thats DRAMA !!!! and when you go anyway without us, spend 4 hours of christmas day with your "family" and when you come home, all you want to do for the rest of christmas is "talk" about what auntie so and so said at the "family gathering" and how your 13th cousin threw a fit over it, to hell with the fact that you ruined our christmas, that is DDRRAAMMMMMMAAAA!!! (and here would be a good place to mention that your man thought that you and him were going to be your own little family, you know, the rings, the cerimony, the COMMITMENT he thought you took seriously, that made you 2 your own family.)

[goshujinsama]

`hmm, I would have to say the drama i don't want to deal with is women who become over emotional over nothing, try to control and change me into what THEY want me to be, let their familes step into OUR relationship. seriosuly if i'm with you i'm with you, not your mom, dad, aunt, sister, cousin etc etc... or if the women i'm with all of a sudden has an ex pop up while saying "oh it's nothing" let's face it, anyone over 22 know this is a completel lie. men and women are guilty of this so don't think it's one sided.

[tesstruheart]

I think guys use the word 'drama' as a blanket term for many different behaviors. I really wish they'd be more specific. For example, if a guy doesn't want to date a woman who discusses every aspect of their relationship with members of her family, then the guy might want to state that in his profile. It might also be helpful to ask about it when you're dating the woman - for example, "are you very close with your family? How often to you talk with them? What kinds of things do you share with them?" Her answers to these questions might clue you in to whether she's a woman you want to continue dating or not.

I also get damn tired of hearing men complain about the "over-emotionality" of women. If you have strong feelings about something, you're going to get emotional, even if the guy sees the issue as a small one. Rather than trying to diminish a woman's feelings by saying "oh, she's just being over-emotional," why not avoid the stereotype and actually try to listen to what she's saying about her feelings and try to be a little understanding. Just because women often choose to express themselves differently from men when they're feeling emotional about something, that doesn't mean they're any less intelligent or less deserving of your understanding and attention. Understanding and reflective listening ("uh huh, I understand, it really sucks when your co-worker acts that way" - or whatever's bothering her in the moment) can actually help us get through the emotions more quickly than negativity and stereotypical assumptions. In other words, guys, if you take the time to listen and understand to your girlfriend, without attempting to fix the situation, you may actually help her get through her emotions more quickly. Being understanding really does have magical powers. :wink:

[hiwayman (deleted)]

`Women LOVE drama. They love all the gossip. Gives them a reason to complain and act supirior. They gotta have all the details. Men don't sweat the small stuff as much. Now when men say they don't wanna h--k up with you becvause of all the drama bla bla what they are sayin is they don't wanna h--k up with YOU. Maybe your the type that never shuts up. Or maybe your always complaining. Wymen who complain about men all the time are a drag. We kinda figure if there is nothing good about men you havr toi say then why have anything to do with us in the 1st place. For those nit pickers that can't understand anything thats spelled wrong,please correct and grade my work. And please no fighting while standing in line to " set me straight" here. Thats right ladies. More " drama" for you todisect.LOL

[loneangel (deleted)]

`Not all women love drama, I myself do not, but I get what you mean. I care less about what the people next door has or who's doing the milkman, I have enough going on in my life to not give a stuff lol. Probably people who like drama are people with not much of a life of their own. I think if a guy says he doesn't like drama he probably means that he doesn't want involved in all the gossip and hang ups from last relationships, although I could be completely wrong ( as per usual )

[southernfinery]

`hiwayman I think you would state your thought more correctly if you added a couple of words to your first sentence like"the women I have known".It is just a suggestion mind you but from what I gather your involvments have left you somewhat tainted to the rest of the female population.I know that from my own personal experience,when trying to make such a far-reaching all-encompassing statement about the"other" sex,I have fallen short of proving my point.Alot of us"women"really don't care for the"drama"and therefore choose to stay alone to keep from stumbling over yet"another"crybaby of the male persausian(typo).I have found that it is rather easy to notice these because they always speak so dramatically.Someone is always out to get them be it the government,their boss,their parents,or their estranged spouse or companion.This is just my take on a rather problematic situation for someone not emotionally stable enough to deal with life and all it's ups and downs.

[cookinbubbles]

`huh, highwayman, I just reread all these when I noticed that I had new comments.
Did you happen to read the original question?
I haven't had a chance to h--k up with those fellas that claim they don't do drama.
It is written in their profile....Thats why I asked to start with what that meant.
I am not a perpetual single woman still looking to find that miracle man. I was married for a very long time when hubby died. I have been out of the dating thing from the age of 18 to 52. What the hell do I know about it any more?? LOL
You made your comment to this question sound as though I had been thrown over by lots of guys because I was a gossip monger, whining drama infected woman....LOL
Not true I was just curious.
Guys think differently than women do and without asking there is no way to find out how you guys do think.
Gossip is not exactly drama. And if you think men don't gossip, the next time you are out with the boys for a beer, listen to what they are telling you and listen to other guys conversation around you .
Men gossip. The subjects of that gossip just happen to be different.

[xbubblyx]

I've translated this statement to mean that they don't want to confront anything difficult or have to face a problem. They want everything in their life to go smooth without contronation or issues, although that's impossible unless he ignores everything around him, which is a bigger problem than a female with a little bit of baggage or something to say on a matter.

But guys can be gossips and drama stirrers, too. I've dated a few and friends with a few.