How hard are you on yourself?

[princessofpink]

Honee's post about being more critical of herself than others were made me think about how hard we can be on ourselves. Do you tend to be harder on yourself than you are to others? Are you harder on yourself then others are on you? Do you think you react this way because of your weight? What issues drive the way you treat yourself?

[torontoredhead_PREV (deleted)]

Hello Princess,

I've always been very critical and hard on myself and that's been all my life, not just since I've been fat. Becoming fat just added more ammunition. I've learned over the years to be less critical of myself, but still find it's hard to pat myself on the back and say 'job well done' or some such thing.

I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And goddone it, people like me!
~Stuart Smalley~

Jazzy Jane
We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. ~~Anais Nin~~

[cutenquirky_PREV (deleted)]

I'm with torontoredhead--I've ALWAYS been hard on myself and particularly on my looks. I never needed anyone to give me a beat down, I was pretty good at it myself.

When I was a svelte size 6 I had meltdowns: I can't go out tonight, I'm too fat! My butt looks big in this!! Wahhh wahhhwahhhh!!!! Sheesh, now I just have to laugh. I thought I was fat then?!?! lol!

As far as other people I've put on rose-colored glasses. Somehow I never hear strangers comment about me in public as I have read from other BBWs. I don't want to hear it so I don't look for it. Sometimes when out dining I'll see "that look" in someone's eyes (usually a guy)--"she's huge, why is she eating that? That's gross." Again, I ignore it and don't "record" it in my memory.

[shannon51]

I'm a realist, I know most people aren't attractive, many are down right homely and some are very pretty and it's all relative because it depends on each individuals opinion as to what's pretty and what's pretty ugly. I don't worry about it much, not like I can change my genetic roll of the dice. I have my days when I wish I was pretty, but what good does that do? I don't care what you look like, there are people who are going to hate you and put you down and call you names, so we tend to take that personally when in reality they do it to everyone. What people say about others is more about themselves than about the person they are making fun of...and I'm as guilty of it as the next person. I'm average looking to homely at best, I'm fine with it, i have lots of company LOL and I'm not required to be pretty or have beauty inside to please those who need to judge my looks. Look the other way or get over it, this is what I look like.

[torontoredhead_PREV (deleted)]

I just adore your candor Shannon.

Jazzy Jane
We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. ~~Anais Nin~~

[shilokw_PREV (deleted)]

shannon51 wrote: I'm a realist, I know most people aren't attractive, many are down right homely and some are very pretty and it's all relative because it depends on each individuals opinion as to what's pretty and what's pretty ugly. I don't worry about it much, not like I can change my genetic roll of the dice. I have my days when I wish I was pretty, but what good does that do? I don't care what you look like, there are people who are going to hate you and put you down and call you names, so we tend to take that personally when in reality they do it to everyone. What people say about others is more about themselves than about the person they are making fun of...and I'm as guilty of it as the next person. I'm average looking to homely at best, I'm fine with it, i have lots of company LOL and I'm not required to be pretty or have beauty inside to please those who need to judge my looks. Look the other way or get over it, this is what I look like.


Shannon.......you said this so perfectly, I had to bring it into January 2007 so others might read it or read it again. The saying, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is more than a saying. It's the truth.

Don't you all agree?

[sthrndelight_PREV (deleted)]

well done Shannon...i agree too...i'm my worst critic...i've always believed that beauty shines from within...you can look like a beauty queen and have the personality of a goat or you can look homely and dress plain like me and have the personality of an angel...so my friends tel me.lol...

[xcurvyliciousx_PREV (deleted)]

Im with Shannon51, you said it girl. We look how we look, no point in being hard on yourself. Life is far too short. xxx

xCurvyliciousx

[heavens]

I believe it is very hard for most people not to beat themselves up on how they look, especially if your overweight. When or if you have a family you grew up in that told you you would never fit in, never be loved, never be anyone if you didn't conform to society's idea of ideal weight and beauty.I wish everyone could see and judge others from the beauty within kinda like Shallow Hal the movie, but it aint gonna happen. You will be judged by most by what you look like. Sad but true. [/b]

Judge me not
and let me be
dont go by
what you "THINK" you see

[deedeefree]

I think everyone has their own brand of insecurities and is harder on them self than others are. Our looks or weight is just what does it for us.

I read a report that said the typical symptoms of stress were eating too much, drinking too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Who are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day.

[(deleted)]

Honee's post about being more critical of herself than others were made me think about how hard we can be on ourselves. Do you tend to be harder on yourself than you are to others? Are you harder on yourself then others are on you? Do you think you react this way because of your weight? What issues drive the


i'm always hard on myself,but it's not because of my size.i always find myself *nalyzing and breaking myself don't trying to make me better than i was the day before.i've been this way since i was about 16,i'm now 47 and nothings change....loli can sonetimes be hard on those i love or even people i'm trying to help build up their esteem.but i do mean well because i have a big heart and hat to see others hurting...especially mentally!



No URL's in the forums.

[(deleted)]

Honee's post about being more critical of herself than others were made me think about how hard we can be on ourselves. Do you tend to be harder on yourself than you are to others? Are you harder on yourself then others are on you? Do you think you react this way because of your weight? What issues drive the


i'm always hard on myself,but it's not because of my size.i always find myself *nalyzing and breaking myself don't trying to make me better than i was the day before.i've been this way since i was about 16,i'm now 47 and nothings change....loli can sonetimes be hard on those i love or even people i'm trying to help build up their esteem.but i do mean well because i have a big heart and hat to see others hurting...especially mentally!




No URL's in the forums.

[metalman69_PREV (deleted)]

I feel this topic is something I can relate with in a different way. I'll have people telling me all the time I'm hard on myself, but something they never ask is how I feel about myself. If they had ask this question then they would realize that I do not have low esteem like they think I do. Alot of the time when I tell someone something it is not from my view point, but it is something I had heard or something I know for a fact. Example, one time I told this woman that most of the women I deal with find me very unattractive and she had the nerve to tell me I am putting myself down, but at the same time this same woman made it a point to me that she too feels I am very unattractive as well. Something like this to me is extremely stupid to say considering the fact she agrees with these other women, you never tell me I'm down on myself about something you agree with. Plus this woman never ask me what I felt about myself, I feel the reason why is because if someone does somethings that stupid then they would be too ignorant to care at all what I feel about myself.

I think if you want to feel better about yourself you should be around people that think highly of you and better influences in life. I personally would never hang around people that insult me, put me down, feel I'm ugly or do not support me in the things I do. To sum it up "I WOULD RATHER BE ALONE THAN BE AROUND THE WRONG PEOPLE". If you are around the wrong people I would think you would feel worse than being by yourself.

Surround yourself with the good and not the bad, then maybe you will be less likely to down yourself.

[melismiles_PREV (deleted)]

What if I am fat,hard on myself(of course) and have a crappy personality?then what?..hmmm... I dont know what to think anymore,ive called myself the worst of names ever,ive hated myself all my life ti'll now,i know i shouldn't be ungrateful, but what can i do? ive been to a freakin' head shrinker but the only one my parents could afford was a man,and well..i wasnt comfortable talking to him because of trust issues i have.so what should i do? ive never thought positive about my life;ever! i have been in the most lowest of the lows in my life...i have even had anger toward my mom for giving birth to me.but of course i quickly try to distract my mind of of it because she isnt to blame for the way i am ;what i have become..i know it sounds the ususal psycho-teen thinking but the only difference between that and me is that,THIS IS REAL. im tired of feeling this way....HELP!

ALWAYS DREAMING'+'SILENT MEMORIES'+'

[sweetnsarcastic (deleted)]

`I know that my weight has been an issue to me. I have many siblings and somehow I am the only one that is overweight. I am not athletic, which was always something my father was crude about, and diets don't work for me, which never failed to disappoint my mother (who is practically anorexic because she works out so much). Inside I want to say that this was how I was intended to be, but I am constantly reminded that I am not the same as everyone else because of my weight.

For example, clothes shopping is something I dread. I can't shop at many of the popular store for people my age, or pull of the same types of clothes as them, and when I go to a store that sells my size it's always overpriced! It's like I'm being punished for being bigger. At least that's what I tell myself.

I am my worst critic and it's definitely true. I know most guys go for confidence, but it's hard to be when I am comparing myself to the twiggy icons of today. However, if this was back a few centuries ago when larger women were the "hottest", than I might interpret all these things differently and perhaps in a more positive manner.