Naturally protective, slightly dominant man out there?

[(deleted)]

Oh boy, I know this post (if anyone reads it) is going to have most all the women and half the men jumping on me about abuse. So, let me make this clear: Abusers suck and should not and would not be tolerated in my world. That being said, I can't help it but I have this thing about finding someone who is really caring, concerned and protective. I want to feel safe and secure as I've never had that. Also, very important is to have someone who is your best friend and you can laugh and have fun with.....really connect in every way. .... So, all that being said, I also sort of kind of in theory think it might be nice to have a man who might possibly hand out a good talking to or a little spanking once in a great while for things that might compromise your personal safety (example: speeding tickets for say 120 mph in a 60 zone). I mean just to get your attention with a little pinking up of the bottom, to show that he loves you and doesn't want to scrape you off the road. And, believe me, I KNOW men will say, "I only hit you because I love you." That is not the crap I'm talking about. And I'm not into b d s m or pain in any way. Gosh, this is difficult. Does anyone understand?

[occupant16365 (deleted)]

Understand it perfectly. Those types of relationships aren't part of the norm but they are out there. Good luck in your search.

[(deleted)]

`Thanks occupant for the response and the understanding. It's nice to know someone out there doesn't think I'm a complete nut job

[nicolathecat (deleted)]

`Not a nut job, or if you are, you are not alone. I like a slightly dominant man also. I want a man I can respect, one that is as strong or slightly stronger then I am (physically and personality.)

[(deleted)]

`Hey, Nicola...love your name I hope you have good luck. Please be careful! I've managed to bring out every b d s m weirdo known to mankind with admitting this to people. (I should NOT have said that. If you or anyone else is into b d s m that is okay. I just meant that is not what I want.) Oy! Just a rough subject. Anyway, Nicola, I've talked, just talked, to a lot of men and they just don't get it. One and only one thus far sounds like he might be on the same page I'm on or at least the page before or after it LOL. Well, good luck to us both!!!!

[danthema9 (deleted)]

O i understand totally. What you want is perfect! You want someone who cares about you all of you every bit of you. They care for your body for your mind your heart and very well being. You want to know and without a single doubt in your mind that he is there for you and will be there for you to protect and honor the bond that you two share. And he is willing to do whatever he has to in order to shield you from harms way. It's so sweet and caring what you want. I really do hope one day I'll find my Angel to protect and love.

[majkaa]

That´s exactly the kind of relationship I dream of. I´m not very optimistic though.

[(deleted)]

`To Dan: You, my friend, have a perfect understanding and if you can't find your angel then no one can. Look on this thread; she might be here

To majkaa: Don't give up. If I am still optimistic at my age, then you have to stick in there with me. We just have to make ourselves known and go after what we want! No giving up! :-)

[obimom3]

.If you need anything let me know

[feedback]

`bump

[(deleted)]

`Come on guys! I KNOW more of you are out there and are just not answering this because you don't want to look like a caveman LOL ... you don't have to answer on here...send me an email. It's free and private. .... I have appreciated the private replies, but have not "clicked" with anyone just yet...some good new friends though

[drklaw]

`I know this is an old thread but I'm glad I read it. And believe me, I understand totally what's going on here. I tend to have that protective/dominant personality. I mean, I'm not going to go and beat somebody just because I don't like them and I'm not some S&M person.

But there is a point in a relationship that you do have to protect each other. Traditionally it's been seen as the male's role. But in all honesty it's both of your responsibility. If your significant other was doing something that endangered themselves, what kind of person would you be if you didn't step in and protect them from themselves?

I know that can seem barbaric. Especially in westernized societies with rampant Zealous Feminists blameing all the worlds woes on men. And men being taught that they are out of cotrol monsters from birth and believing it.

Now there is nothing wrong with Feminism on the whole. I'm just refering to those few that want superioerity over males, not an equal partnership.

Frankly men are afraid of being protective, because they have been taught that they are bad and society then helps to reenforce that negitive belief. Then all it takes is one male trying to be protective and one female out to get him to send him to jail for some type of abuse.

Yet many people still want this feeling of protection in today's society, regardless of wether or not you're male or female. I know that personally speaking as a male, I would like to feel safe in a relationship. I mean, who wants to come home and feel afraid? Yet many people do, and so they long to feel protected. Yet they (males in this case) are afraid to be protective because of the social stigmantation involved.

And remember, all of this goes for both males and females. Because I've known females that have been just as abusive as men. Yet their cries go unheard because the laws are biased and males are still seen as being traditionally stronger, even if he is not allowed to act that way. So when a male says that he has been abused, no one believes him. Because it's still believed for some reason that a man can't be hurt by a woman. This is hypocritical in the extreme.

I don't know if this helps or not. It kind of went off on a rant for a while. The double standards tick me off. But I just wanted to say why there are not many of those type of men out there. But there are still some that will try and protect you and not abuse you. Because there is a difference between the two.