How people will treat you based on what they see..

[metalman69_PREV (deleted)]

I could say in a way this forum relates to another forum I wrote a while back about appearance. Something I have learned in life is there are 3 ways in general people will view you.

1) You appeal to them.
2) You do nothing for them.
3) You repulse or repel them.

These things can be determined by different factors like your age, race, s--, height, weight, hair style(or having no hair and hair loss), the way you dress, personality, attitude, job, social status, hygiene and the things you say or do in life.

1) If I appeal to someone they are going to be a little more friendly towards me and I have better chances of becoming friends or getting involved with them.

2) If I do nothing for someone they will not go out of their way for me and most likely treat me no better than they do most people. The most I could hope for with this person is to be civil and maybe friends at best(but not likely).

3) If I repulse someone they will go out of their way to avoid me and if they have to deal with me they will be less than friendly. If they are hateful they may try to make the time around you unpleasant.

The biggest thing I run into is if someone of the opposite S-- views you as a s----l threat they will do anything in their power to avoid you to an extreme measure(especially if you repel them or you or they are involved).

[songlily33_PREV (deleted)]

While I always appreciate Metalman's forums and try and post something to your thoughts, I feel I must address a very important issue that you somewhat address in the last lines and in no way reflects your attitude toward women. I just want to use this as a way to help men understand a problem women have had for centuries and in no way could it be covered in any depth within the lines of a forum. Again, this no way reflects Metalman or his treatment of women.

Attraction is a wonderful thing between two people, but does NOT constitue a desire to have intimate relations with someone after meeting them once or twice. This applies to most, even if you have been chatting online for months. You still do not know this person. If the attraction is there, wonderful. If she decides that she wants more right away, good for both individuals. Either way, yes or no, it really is up to her how far a woman is willing to go (and yes, even the man can say no when she says yes, but he can NEVER say yes if she is saying no).
Some women will meet you and sleep with you right away as they seek approval and validation from males (generally we all do this in some form, and feel a sense of guilt for having succumed so easily and not held out for more from our partner). :
However, the main reason I am addressing this forum is for the last lines.

*The biggest thing I run into is if someone of the opposite S-- views you as a s----l threat they will do anything in their power to avoid you to an extreme measure(especially if you repel them or you or they are involved).*

1 of 1 women are in some form se---lly assaulted in their life.

My experience has been, especially with anything online, that the expectation is S-- right away. It is very frustrating for me to try and understand that, yes, we have been talking for a month but I have no idea who you really are or the kind of life you truly lead. It is even amazing to me that men would want a physical relationship with a woman who they have no clue to how well they take care of themselves or if they have been talking to YOU for a month and also 10 other men. And if so, is she sleeping with all of them on the first date.

Basically, women can be just as frightening and odd as men. Yet, I don't know very many women that can hold a man down, force his clothes off of him and him.

If a woman is afraid or views you as a s----l threat, just buck up and realize that something happened in her life to make her fear; there could be something you are saying or doing that could give her the idea that you have s----l feelings for her that she doesn't return and this frightens her, or she is just not prepared to allow herself to be a victim ever!

MEN, pay attention....if a woman clutches her purse or crosses the street....DO NOT take offense no matter your race or appearance...just leave her be...she is afraid for a reason.
Be a REAL man and realize that if your wife, sister, daughter or mother were afraid for whatever reason you would want her also to cross that street or protect her property (including her person).

Women have a fear that begins very possibly at birth (generally fears have to be taught, but this one can be found in most women from too early an age to consider it to be taught). There is just a gut feeling we get around some men that tells us he is trouble or to walk away. Sometimes we listen and sometimes we learn a very hard lesson. Either way, our lives are forever changed. It is a lesson only a hand full of young boys learn or small men in prison learn.

Be patient and respectful at all times and this fear will never appear or will subside within the first few minutes.

What is all comes down to is a very basic principle in life. "Let HER lead the way and she will take you as close as you can get to HEAVEN, lead her where she doesn't want to go and your bound to face HELL"

[metalman69_PREV (deleted)]

Thank you songlily33 as usual for your constructive reply. This forum I wrote as it states in the beginning is a generalization of what I see with people. You are right, there could be a lot more said for what was written. But, unfortunately this forum was originally written on another site that limited me on how much I could put in it. I did not try to put anything sexist in here, but again you are right, the majority of people that are se---lly threatened tend to be women. When I wrote that last line I had in mind what the forum was trying to get at. This reflect my experiences with the opposite s--. The problem I encounter with the s----l threat issues is over 90% of the women that are se---lly threaten by me never even talked to me at all. I feel the key points why are my size, my very strong facial features, my image and my action they may see. For example, I like to free style dance when I go to night clubs. If someone were to see me dance they would have to say for height and weight I move exceptionally fast and I'm very flexible. Because of this get more of the s----l threat issue at night clubs more than anywhere else I go. I will not tone down what I do just to meet women, that's not who I am and I feel you always have to be yourself regardless if people like or hate it. As far as strong facial feature, I am not saying I feel I am the best looking man in the world. What I am saying is I do have a square facial shape, a very sharp jaw line and deep set eyes with kind of darker eye brows. Strong features like these have not been considered a mainstream beauty since the 1970's and before then, because of this I have to go with a rougher look in order to hide these feature because most women I've encountered find these features to be ugly. Because I go with a rougher look I do a hell of a lot better when I go to meet women, but at the same time that look also comes off as more threatning to a lot of women. I feel it is ignorant to judge someone on their size as a threat considering the fact most of the men that I know that are real threats are a lot smaller than me, because of their size they have more opportunity than me when it comes to meeting women. As far as when women actually talk to me, I will speak my mind and I can be loud too. I am loud because I suffer from a certain degree of hearing loss and some people mistake that for aggressive. I will almost always speak my because for the past 4 years I was being a badly watered down version of who I really am and because of that I would come off as boring to most people. I'd rather be considered a threat than have people talk to me once or twice and then never talk to me again. Again it is a shame that people take someone that is being bold as a threat too. In reallity, I know what the word "NO" means and when I hear it I always back off. Besides, when it does come to S-- I enjoy it as much as the next person, but only with the right person. Someone that is se---lly threatened by me is one of my turn offs, so they really have nothing to worry about with me.

[songlily33_PREV (deleted)]

Let me start by saying that in no way was I directing my comments to you personally. I think you are an insightful person who is simply starting conversations between the masses of people in search of answers to lifes many questions.

The response I gave was a generalization to men at large. It was a way to help the multitude of men understand why certain women will find them a s----l threat no matter their appearance.

Every 8 seconds a woman is assaulted. That makes 7 women every minute who face a harrowing experience. That is 420 women an hour that must be harrassed, beaten, or mutilated.

I don't believe for one second that you would ever have the intentions of hurting a woman, and most men feel exactly like you. However, women believe or have been shown differently.

Yes, your size could be a factor in why women would find you se---lly aggressive. But for the most part, the way she acts around you will be the way she acts around most men if she has been hurt.

(directing the rest to all men)

Don't take offense or misunderstand, women are just protecting themselves to the best of their ability. We are not trying to disuade men from approaching us. We are just trying to make the right decisions that will not get us hurt.

I hope women will read this and understand that attraction to a person doesn't make them a good person. Also, fearing a person because of their appearance does not make them a mass murderer.

You should never try and be something you are not. But also remember that just because you know you are a good person, she does not. With the amount of crime in this country and the ineffectiveness of the law, women are fighting battles every day for their lives.

Just a little understanding and not judging them based on their attitude toward any man could take men very far. Allow them (the woman) to approach you or try and be not so in your face. You see, we're not talking about a romp in the hay or whether or not she finds you appealing, we are talking about the risk that every woman takes when she walks out the door. The risk that the man she chooses will cost her her life.

[metalman69_PREV (deleted)]

This is the point I was getting at. You wrote,

"I hope women will read this and understand that attraction to a person doesn't make them a good person. Also, fearing a person because of their appearance does not make them a mass murderer."

It is real sad that most women will assume that just because a man is real good looking and not all that big in size they are no real threat before talking to him. On the other hand, it is even worse that they will assume that a man that is rough or not so good looking and has size is a threat and because of that they will not even give him a chance at all(if not so much as trying to be friends at least).

I feel(no offence intended) that you should write a separate topic about "sexual threats" because if you did you would have much better odds of it being read. If you don't believe me look at the numbers on my topics(just check the views I have) and compare them to a topic written by someone considered better looking, more desirable or a topic that was written by a woman. These people's topics get viewed a hell of a lot more than mine do.

By the way, some of the stupidest topics I have read get the most views of all topics written.

[samuel1986]

Thats really not a great way to look at the world. If you chose to live your life based on statistics you won't have a very good time. They're overestimated sums of made up cr@p. Some harassments are not reported and some are lies how do you separate them. But here's the question I wanted to ask, should you live your life on someone else's predictions and not realize there are good people out there, and base it on a belief that a rapist is around every corner. Because if what you say is true it's just another excuse to never leave your home.

[tropicalbreeze]

As I read what's been posted in your threads...I've notice that "threat" is use repeatedly.

Threat is "insecurities" I do believe that each individual have their own reasons, and if one is dissuaded by the "threats" then I suggest that online services are not for the individual itself.

I know when everyone enters online service, they should first of all realize the risk involve and take proper actions to protect one's information. This is not new....this "topic" is old, and if anything turn the tables to better or assist one another.

Women die by the second as mention and correct me if I'm wrong...lol, um ...so do men by the same cause. Women just have a higher percentage (due to protection)... Why even address that? What is the point? Are we scaring women away from being on online or having second thoughts. I will not get the same results you have (vice versa).

Sexual threats? So what can we do to prevent?....or bact track as to how the conversation started?

It works both ways.....I'm not siding with the men, but I feel we should address issues that would not be such a threat to everyone. Maybe this is why no one's responding.

I agree with Samuel.....

Hey....down with the statistics and beef up the positivity!!

good topic!!!

[metalman69_PREV (deleted)]

tropicalbreeze wrote: As I read what's been posted in your threads...I've notice that "threat" is use repeatedly.

Threat is "insecurities" I do believe that each individual have their own reasons, and if one is dissuaded by the "threats" then I suggest that online services are not for the individual itself.

I know when everyone enters online service, they should first of all realize the risk involve and take proper actions to protect one's information. This is not new....this "topic" is old, and if anything turn the tables to better or assist one another.

Women die by the second as mention and correct me if I'm wrong...lol, um ...so do men by the same cause. Women just have a higher percentage (due to protection)... Why even address that? What is the point? Are we scaring women away from being on online or having second thoughts. I will not get the same results you have (vice versa).

Sexual threats? So what can we do to prevent?....or bact track as to how the conversation started?

It works both ways.....I'm not siding with the men, but I feel we should address issues that would not be such a threat to everyone. Maybe this is why no one's responding.

I agree with Samuel.....

Hey....down with the statistics and beef up the positivity!!

good topic!!!
If you had read what I had to say then you would realize that this article was not intented to address the s----l threat issue. The first person that replied to me kind of turn it into that because I mentioned I run into that with my appearance. And it also seems that most people don't give a damn what I have to say because they are not reading what I have to say, but are reading my replies from other people. All the s----l threat thing was just an example of how people might view you. If I thought people would take my acticle the wrong way I would of never included that. This article was written to give people an idea of how others might view you on different levels. I wish people would read the actual topic, not the replies.

P.S. Like I wrote before if you want an article on "Sexual Threats", write in yourself because I am tired of dealing with it.