insecure

[sicilianprncess]

well i guess i am a bbw- im 5'8" and am normally between 190-200 pounds. but i feel so insecure about it. I see all these women on here talking about how proud they are of their bodies. I can see other big women and think that they are just fine looking but with myself im insecure.. I can find like something wrong with everything on me! can any females give me some feedback on how i can love my body more?

[nikrusso]

`wow another italian i know ur looking for female input theres something about ur self u can find good focus on it

[sicilianprncess]

`what does that meann nik.. lol

[xmissxlaurax]

`95% of females can find at least ONE thing they don't really like about themselves.

As you are still fairly young (saying that, only 2 years younger than myself!) you are still getting used to your body.

[krayzee1]

`I used to be terribly insecure about myself. I would refuse to leave the house because I didn't want to be seen next to the "pretty girls".... especially common where I live, being so close to the beach. I was afraid that being taller and wider and rounder was just so horrible. Suffering years of insults from public schools to years of working with irritated customers who loved nothing more than to call me a fat (insert other insulting term here) added up to a pretty bad situation for me.

I suffered through eating disorders, several unsuccessful diets, and long times between boyfriends. It all added up to make me incredibly insecure, and also incredibly depressed. Social anxiety ruled my life. All it took for me to get out there, be happy with everything, was (don't make fun) a low dose anti-depressant medication. It took the edge off my anxiety and my low self esteem.

I have made lots of new friends, been out on dates because I don't feel like the guys are joking when they act interested anymore, and feel much more confident in myself. I'm off the medication, but have kept the attitude it helped me achieve.

Mostly what helped me was realizing that the people who refused to see past my weight or judged me for it, were not the kind of people I'd want to spend time with anyway. I came to see it as a natural filter, and it became less of a hindrance. I love who I am now, fat and all, and am not afraid to wear my girlie clothing or buy that sexy nightie in 3x. It is amazing what a change confidence can make.

There is a youtube video called "a fat rant" (you can look it up, not sure the rules about posting links) and was really surprised how much truth there was in it. Especially what she says at the end.. "Get happy in that skin you're in!"

Good luck!

[epitaph_PREV (deleted)]

`Im insecure. I hate everything about me. Im in the process of losing weight now. Ive lost weight in the past. Ive actually made it to a size 8. (Then pregnancy happened. lol) But I cant say that I was happier. I was still prety insecure. Ive since learned to suck it up and accept it. When I did that I started losing weight. Really, depression and worry add pounds. Once you resign yourself to being you and loving your good qualities, you will lose weight. Maybe not as fast as dieting and excercising, but you will. I lost from 275 in december to 250 by march. Im down another 10 lbs. SLOWWW going but its proven to work. I think it also stembs from not hinding inside my house and actually walking the malls now and ignoring the idiots.

Im sorry krayzee that these people treated you like that. I grew up the same. School was hell and home was hell. I blocked my own grandmother 3 years ago because the last time she called she asked "Are you still fat? Fat ppl go to hell!" HA! :p

[easilyamusedor (deleted)]

`I can relate to the insecurity issue, but 5'8" and still 200 or under? That isn't all that big!!! I'm 5'5" and 240! Have been looking for someone for a year, prior to that was alone for a decade.

Been trying dating sites for the past year and they have been the absolutely Worst thing for my self esteem. I'm new here and hoping that I'll find someone. But after the past year and the men I met and how I was treated, I'm pretty gun shy, but I'm not going to give up just yet.

I live in a rural area in Oregon, not a lot of men on these BBW sites near enough to me, but on the "regular" type of dating sites I felt like a lamb to the slaughter due to my weight.

[nataliemuse]

`You haven't hit the next category of fat....you're still thin (a weight most of us would kill for)....so you're still competing with "skinny girls"....That's why you don't think you're all that....The rest of us, we are up a level and find the beauty confidence among our peers...

[jjmcclure (deleted)]

nataliemuse wrote: `You haven't hit the next category of fat....you're still thin (a weight most of us would kill for)....so you're still competing with "skinny girls"....That's why you don't think you're all that....The rest of us, we are up a level and find the beauty confidence among our peers...



Really?? Are we hatin on someone for not being big enough LOL that is worse than skinny people hating fat people.

To the OP,

New Flash! No one likes the way they look. I dated a girl once who was what I at that time considered beautiful, she was 5'4" and 98lbs. We were together for quite awhile. One Halloween my friends GF was trying to get my girl to dress sexy, my friends girl was same weight as my girl but 3 inches taller. So I came home and she was wearing a naughty nurse costume because that is what the other girl convinced her to buy. She asked my opinion and I said you look sexy because its you wearing the outfit but I don't like it as I felt it was not her. You could see she was not confortable in it. SHE FREAKING LOST IT! She immediately went into hysterics crying and sobbing about how she was not as beautiful as my friends GF, I was in shock. Up until that moment I always assumed the people who were "beautiful" knew it and had no insecurities...WRONG!!! They are just as if not more insecure than we as big folk are. The girl in question's insecurities were so bad it destroyed our relationship.

There is always someone smarter, sexier, stronger, richer, taller, shorter, fatter, skinnier, ----tier, more virtuous, younger, older than you are, stop worrying about them and worry about you.