what happened to kissing and holding hands?

[itshard2behuman (deleted)]

what happened to kissing and holding hands? how do men express their interest if not through body language and touch? how can i spend a whole day with this guy, he doesnt try to kiss me once, but when i fall asleep in his bed (it was a long drive home and a long day) he feels me up after the lights are out. and then he's a distant jerk the next morning. and when did it become okay to just ask a woman on a first date if she would have --- with you. yes my body language was flirtatious, but, can't you just respond with some flirtatious body language and not have conversations about hypothetical ---. is intimacy no longer linear to men? why doesnt it start with some sort of touch and then holding hands and then kissing and making out and then sex, not necessarily all in one date, but you know. does it really not work that way any more? its so confusing and disorienting when its not linear like that. is it just a coincidence that i had two dates in a row where the guy was totally socially inept and unable to read or respond to body language? i have a lot of questions. can i get an answer or two?

[xflowerxangelx_PREV (deleted)]

Unfortunately, there are quite a few men like this.

I think..I'd love to see a guy respond to this just to see what they make of it!

Laura
xx

[thulsadoom (deleted)]

`Well, I was drifting by, and thought I'd make a comment on this...

I'm a guy, and to be honest, I can't understand men who are like you described. With my girlfriend, I can't get enough of holding her hand, giving her bum a quick caress, stopping for a quick kiss for no reason as we're walking along the road, whatever. And when we first went out, I never took anything for granted.

As for --- on a first date, well, admittedly we did, but we'd got to know each other before we went on our first date, and I made it clear to her that I didn't 'expect' things to go that way. That sure, it would be wonderful if we hit it off so well during that first date that we did, but that it didn't bother me if we didn't, because I was going out with her to get to know HER, not just for the ---.

Maybe it's the difference between guys who are literally only thinking of the one thing, and guys who are hoping that perhaps this could be the start of a real relationship. From my view, there's no need to rush things when going out with a girl, because if they work out, then you'll get to all the good stuff eventually anyway. And if they don't work out, then it doesn't matter.

[alphax]

`id love to hold hands with you.

[doodlegal]

`man I'm sorry you've had to put up with guys like that.

but you have to remember, not all guys are on that sort of macho trip.
Hopefully you'll find someone nice and sweet who'll treat you right!

[kamiluvsdave (deleted)]

`it's been my experience that men who rush the physical part don't feel too great about themselves. the same would go for women too. the trick is to find someone who is a happy whole healthy person. that's a rare breed these days.

[tricialee]

`its everywhere lately, if you're not willing to put out on the first date then they are like whats the point. romance is gone. i told the last guy who asked me out straight up, i don't sleep with someone until at least a month in, i wanna know the person, thats why i'm trying to date. if i wanted to have sex, i would be in a bar at last call. i'm not askin for the movie type of romance, but love notes, holding hands, just callin to see how you are, sharing a bed and just sharing it.......and i can't blame all the men, why do women feel it has to be like that as well...what happened to dating...how well can you really know someone 3 or 5 dates in?

[MCPARADOX (deleted)]

`I love just walking around holding hands talking laughing and having a good time i normally end the night with a peck on the cheek and maybe a tap on the butt

depending if the date went well

[mramb_PREV (deleted)]

` All that still exists, you just gotta meet the right people. This topic reminds me of an odd girlfriend I had a few years ago. When I tried to hold her hand, she'd complain that my hand was cold. When I didn't, she'd complain that I didn't hold her hand. :P

[jesseh (deleted)]

What happened to kissing and holding hands? What about chivalry and courtship? I think they're both dead.

I'm pretty sure that the killer is Television - since you know - it already killed the radio star.

INTJesseh

[kissfan79 (deleted)]

[deleted]

[brittanyxxerin (deleted)]

`I have the same problem. I really don't know what happened to holding hands and all that. It makes me question what they really want, and those guys aren't ones I'm trying to be with.

[sweetnsarcastic (deleted)]

`I think the idea of kissing and holding hands went out the window when women started being seen as objects to be used or trophies to be flaunted.
At some point and time, some men forgot that women, like themselves, need to be respected and loved (and reminded of such every now and then). Also some women will put up with that stuff so they enable the guys to act that way.

Of course, there are still some men that do treat women properly and with respect...you just have to sift through the bad ones.

[brittanyxxerin (deleted)]

`I totally agree with you. lol
I think some girls just settle for that sort of behavior, because maybe they feel that's the way it's supposed to be? And they wanna latch on just so they don't have to look anymore. Some girls are okay with moving quickly. I know a few. I'm not one of them. haha
But, we definitely have to sift through the bad ones, whether it be 1, or 100.

[idoudit51]

`Is it because we are BBW that they think we dont respect ourselves and we are desprate for any type of affection. I get so tired of the same thing. Its one of the reasons it has been such along time to get back dating. I amj so past the one "night wonders". I too miss the handholding and kissing and cuddling.