What to say in those first few e-mails?

[cookinbubbles]

I have a tough time knowing what to say when a guy contacts me. I sort of end up babbling about the weather or some other stupid stuff and of course I never hear from them again...Any hints?
You would think that since it is totally anonymous that it would be easier but apparently not.
I have to admit that I have not dated since I was 18...got married then and its been 7 years since I have been single again so I am woefully out of practice. As in 41 years out of practice...
So fellas, what do you want to hear?

[cookinbubbles]

`Great! No one wants to talk to me here either....lol. Well s--- folks, I thought I would get at least ONE reply. I cannot possibly be the only person who has trouble knowing what to say when getting to know a stranger.
Help???

[sheevaa]

`I didn't answer because I have crap for luck with guys too, lol. However, I can usually end up going on a date before it all goes to hell, so I'll give a go!

I usually look at his profile and then ask him questions about something that interests me on it, in a pic, hobbies, or whatever. Maybe ask what he likes to do for fun. I dunno, I usually keep things pretty casual for the first msg or two, I suppose.

[allisondawn (deleted)]

`i agree w sheevaa, i always ask about their hobbies and what s/he likes to do for fun, what they do for a living (or in school) etc

i hate when i get emails and the first one or two from someone will be/ have s----l undertones or are flat out perverse.. i never reply to them and i think they are so horrible!!

[sheevaa]

`I agree. If he can't keep it in his pants right from the get-go, I'm not interested!

[thornbird1]

That's a huge pet peeve of mine when a man somehow mentions S-- within the first few emails. I mean what kind of women are they used to dealing with that they think it is appropriate to communicate this way? What response do they actually expect from us when they ask us inappropriate questions?

[ssbbwloverinnv (deleted)]

` I think some of it comes from the anonymity of being on the internet. A guy (or girl) can come on it and be a jerk with no real-life consequences. Sure, you can still walk into some meat market bar and solicit somebody like that, use cheap pick-up lines and such, but with the advent of the internet and on-line dating in the last 20 years, it's given the idiots of the world an even bigger opportunity to make bigger idiots out of themselves. I've seen it not just on this site, but elsewhere regardless of subject matter. Civility and decency have really taken a nose-dive because someone can engage in insulting, obnoxious behavior toward someone else out in cyberspace with no reprecussions other than being banned, put on an ignore list and so on.

[shinigamigurl]

`I agree with Thornbird, mentioning S-- right off the bat when the profile doesn't is instant blocked user. But as to the original question- I usually start off with casual greetings, asking questions about their profile, asking what their looking for. Unfortunately most of my first emails don't really engage me as a person so it's up to me to get more info on them first- but it actually makes it easier since it leaves the ball in their court without having to reveal much about me first. That sounds kind of 'bad' but why should I have to open up to a stranger who may not really be interested? Plus most of the guys don't put much info in their profiles to begin with, so it's better if I find out more up front to see if he's even worth the effort. I had someone email me a few days ago and all his profile said was "HEY"- I mean seriously, what is THAT?

[sheevaa]

`lol, I guess some guys expect us to swoon over the Heys Or be super detectives and mysteriously find out their basic info.

[ssbbwloverinnv (deleted)]

`You could respond by saying, "'Hey' is for horses!" Single word replies are definitely not conversation starters for me, either.

[sheevaa]

`I usually just reply in kind.
"Hey"
"Hi"
"HRU?"
"Good"

It usually dies after that, lol:P

[ssbbwloverinnv (deleted)]

`Another thing that drives me a little nutty in addition to single-word replies, is all the bad grammar, misspelled words and lack of punctuation. Some people's replies, posts, etc. are just one long sentence. Doesn't anyone know what periods, commas, semicolons and CAPITAL LETTERS are?? It's like I'm reading something written by a five-year old. Has the educational system become that awful since I left school? Also, I still have difficulty cracking the abbreviation code--WTF?(that one I know) We're not text messaging here, there is plenty of room on the screen to spell things out. If someone can't construct a decent sentence or message on the computer, imagine what they must sound like in person! Usually, I won't waste my time responding to that.

[southernlove85]

`That is a big one for me as well. I don't understand why people want to write that way. It is annoying and makes them look uneducated. However, I know that we live in this new technology world where people think shorter is easier. You can tell who has been raised in this new era. I was on the brink of it but that does not mean I want to talk or write that way.

As for starting an email, I usually find something interesting about the profile and start from there. I feel the message should have something with a little substance.

[1957wkw]

southernlove85 wrote: As for starting an email, I usually find something interesting about the profile and start from there. I feel the message should have something with a little substance.

That's me too. When I first contact someone it's bacause of some things we have in common, or what I am looking for. I bring that up in the message.

[ggr1972 (deleted)]

`In the event that I get a possible "get to know you" email, I will respond informatively.....until then, lol well....shrug