Ever try to run a background check on someone ?

[cookinbubbles]

I am fairly new here and got an e-mail from this old hottie. We exchanged a fair amount of letters and I noticed that he kept telling me to ask him anything about himself but when I did, he was very good at dodging the actual question. No details, all generic info.
His letters started taking on a real romantic flare, almost like out of a novel and I just couldn't resist seeing how far this guy was going to go because I felt it was a scam or something wasn't quite right.
I got the idea to google his name and I couldn' find him, at all. No worries, I can't find my sister on there either since she shares her name with a famous author so she just sort of disappears.
things went along and we exchange e-mail addresses and communicated that way for a while, and his e-mails were steamy, smoking hot. Still, something was wrong. Then he gave me his home address and phone number and wanted to call me. I tried checking those out as best as I could and still couldn't find him.
Then I realized that sometimes, his e-mails almost sounded like it was someone else i was talking to and shortly after that, he tried hitting me for money, lots of it. I had my answer. Anyway, anyone ever actaully run a background check on someone before physically seeing them?

[southernfinery]

`hi ms.bubbles,yes I have had some of the same nonsense.One guy tried telling me he was a calendar guy for firefighters.That was the pic of him on his profile page.He then added that he wanted to speak via the phone and gave me his number so I ran a check on it.He said he was in the middle of the atlantic but his number was coming from jersey so when I asked him why he told me he was in the middle of the atlantic working he politely fled.He tried to allow enough time to pass thinking I had forgotten and forgave before he emailed me again,to which I politely hit block....next lol....You were so right to give him more rope and just to play along.I mean some of these guys honestly think they can sway us off of our center enough to get us to agree to anything.....so sad really......I wish you the best and may gbu

[cookinbubbles]

`Well, now I don't feel quite so....suspicious! LOL I wasn't sure if I was reading him wrong and just overly cautious or if I truly have trust issues. Its just that all of this guys communications were.....off. Just enough get that tingle in the back of my head. I am glad I am not the only one to run someones phone number or check up on folks. Sign of the times I guess.

[89shifty (deleted)]

`It's better to be safe than sorry. If you feel that someone may be into something you're not, then a bg check is okay, just as long as they don't know about it. Some people don't like when people dig into their past and refuse to build a future...granted they find out what you did of course.

[cookinbubbles]

`thanks for the in put from a guy.
My feeling is if someone is unwilling to let a potential mate dig into thier past, they have something to hide and frankly, they can take a hike.
I am up front and honest in all my dealing with anyone. I gott be the worst liar in the world so I don't have much of a choice! LOL
I guess I expect the same from other people and of course, not every body is comfortable being open about them selves.

[princessadriana]

Background checks are super touchy! Nobody wants to be looked into, but I don't give a ----! (I have a horrible tounge, but only sometimes!) Anyway, I have been very up front with guys before and told them that I believe in doing background checks and advised them to do one on me as well, if they so please. But only with guys I felt very comfy with. I can only be myself with someone, so if he doesn't like this...he doesn't like me. But there have also been time when I just felt really odd about a guy, like the "he's too perfect sydrome". LOL And then there are the guys I like soooo much and I just don't want it to end, so I need to know about his past. Wierd...I know. Anyhow, now I just do a check as soon as I have a name because there are some definite wierdos out there. I have lw enforcement in my family....a lot all the way up the ladder, so I can find out anything. And one time I met a guy who was sooo awesome, went on a date and everything. The night he came to pick me up, my uncle wrote down him plate number and when I got home, everyone had a story for me!!! He was a rapist, and an open case in court for raping, stalking, and terrorizing a young girl. He was even trying to keep her from testifying in court. Major!!!! People lie, too much, and people don't even introduce themselves by first and last name anymore. Like WTF!!!! I had a guy come to me, telling me how gorgeous I was and how he usually doesn't do things like that and we exchanged numbers. I was in Baltimore at the time, so I went home he calls and we chat. The convo went on for hours and we did this for 3 days, with talk of him making a day trip to Boston. I realized I had never got his actual name and had been calling him by a nickname. When I asked....he refused to tell me and told me I would know when I made the resevations for him to come to Boston. Ahahahaha He never heard from me again!
URG!!! ----ing losers!

Kisses and Cupcakes
Princess

[starryeyedsarah (deleted)]

I don't know if these classify as background checks per se, but I have done the reverse telephone lookup. I am fairly cautious about who I get involved with after a few cases of bad luck meets lack of judgement on my part when I was younger. I don't find anything wrong with you checking to see if someone is who they claim to be, especially if you are upfront with them about it. I think the problems begin when you do the type of searches where you find out what they had for lunch on their first day of third grade...

Just my two cents.

[dave71200 (deleted)]

cookinbubbles wrote: `thanks for the in put from a guy.
My feeling is if someone is unwilling to let a potential mate dig into thier past, they have something to hide and frankly, they can take a hike.
I am up front and honest in all my dealing with anyone. I gott be the worst liar in the world so I don't have much of a choice! LOL
I guess I expect the same from other people and of course, not every body is comfortable being open about them selves.



I met someone on yahoo recently (probably a bad idea to start with) who claimed to be a professor at a well known Indiana university. A call to said university and a search of phone and property records indicate no such person. Additionally, a phone conversation revealed a strong Irish accent. This person claimed to have been born in Mississippi and lived there and in Indiana for their entire life.

David

[bigmandrew]

`I think if you feel the need to do a back ground check on a person you should just stop talking to that person. Relationships need to be based on trust and running a back ground check is not trust. If you need all of that persons back history just to be able to trust them, then you have a trust issue. It pays to always use your best judgment which is exactly what you did Bubbles. If you best judgment is saying you need a back ground check on a person, just stop talking to them.

[princessadriana]

bigmandrew wrote: `I think if you feel the need to do a back ground check on a person you should just stop talking to that person. Relationships need to be based on trust and running a back ground check is not trust. If you need all of that persons back history just to be able to trust them, then you have a trust issue. It pays to always use your best judgment which is exactly what you did Bubbles. If you best judgment is saying you need a back ground check on a person, just stop talking to them.




Ummmm, helloooo! Did you not read my comment? I was on a date with a now convicted rapist. Seriously? I didn't need to do a background check for my trust issues, but thankfully I did. I could have been girl number 2. And secondly, I think it is neccesary to look any and everybody up. People are liars, and are super sneaky. So if I look you up in the first week of dating and find out that you used to be a theif...I will seperate myself. Why continue dating a guy, fall for him, and wait for him to tell me his horrible pastlife stories after 10months and a full heart. My feelings for him would cause me to make the wrong decision. And I know not everyone has a perfect past....we all have stories to tell, most of them probably embarrasing or bad. But i'm not one for wasting time, so you're going into the computer!! Ahahahaha

Kisses and Cupcakes
Princess

[andriek]

you know we all want to know about the person. I mean they won't tell you that upfront. Plus this day and age it isn't good to be that trusting. there are some real sickos out there

Das Leben auf Erden ist ein gemeiner Krieg; wir spielen; wir Kämpfen; wir setzen alles auf Sieg; Hurra - wir leben noch; Wer hätte das gedacht...

[skyfullmoon (deleted)]

[deleted]

[eros89]

`In this day and age I run a background check on all my dates. Regardless of trust, it's simply being careful. You just never know who's behind those nicely crafted words.
Anyone can write a good message or two. My advice is to always run a check just to be safe.

Stay safe

[simplysouthern9]

`Wow maybe I should try my luck at the bar scene! This all sounds so intimidating!