Anyone else with the suspicion of never being truly loved?

[xbubblyx]

There hasn't been too many people who return my affection - friends or men. I'm an otherwise happy person, however, it's now diminished. It's hard for me to understand why I ever made the user name I did because that's the last thing I've felt for a while. I'm not going into major detail of my losses and mess ups this year, which only add to the lonliness.

I just want to be happy. "But you have to be happy by yourself first." Well, I have been, it's just getting friggin old and lonely. And it's constantly depressing to see all my friends and ex's with happy relationships and babies. And I'm stuck working all the time. And keep in mind, no matter how much weight I lose, how much I make people laugh, how much I have a accomplished, I'm still just by myself, watching the world live while I just get older and little more bitter. It's sucking the life out of me and I'm losing hope. Why go to school to make a lot of money when the job I have now makes plenty of money for myself? Seeing as that's all I'll be supporting until the day I die.


I wish and pray all the time that I can be happy and have my own life. I try to make it happen myself and always fail miserably. I can't stand the loss so I'd rather have someone come to me, which is like waiting at the north pole for santa claus- just twice as cold.

I'm not asking for advice although feel free to leave a comment, rude comments to yourself please. I just had to get this out in a private way because I really can't take it anymore.

[ggr1972 (deleted)]

`
"I just want to be happy. "But you have to be happy by yourself first." Well, I have been, it's just getting friggin old and lonely. And it's constantly depressing to see all my friends and ex's with happy relationships and babies. And I'm stuck working all the time. And keep in mind, no matter how much weight I lose, how much I make people laugh, how much I have a accomplished, I'm still just by myself, watching the world live while I just get older and little more bitter. It's sucking the life out of me and I'm losing hope."


TESTIFY!!!!!!!