Notlongboned, 68

It is not an adult site, so I certainly can't talk about Tiger. OK, I get that. Can I mention that I think for a billion dollars, a perfect reputation, and a seemingly beautiful wife and family, I think I could keep it in my pants. How hard can it be? Uh oh, mentioning hard is trouble, and also probably racist! I will have to blow that off. Oops, screwed up again! The word "screwed" is not likely to pass muster either (do not get me started on "muster" since I am clueless, but it sounds dirty!). I swear you can't be frank (and who knows if Frank is dirty himself!) these days. Nothing factual or meaningful is allowed anymore seemingly. We are so "scr#@ed". See, I show improvement! I am supposed to be intelligent so this 2000 character thing is hardly a challenge (I prattle on like you would not believe at times!). Since I stumbled upon here randomly, I figure that I will be like Groucho and not be allowed by my own standards! Damn me! Maybe Groucho and I have standards which are just hard to fathom. I will be banned anyway, more than likely. I might have done better claiming to be Groucho (note to self and all!). The bigger lie works so damn well these days, but you have to remember it or have all your friends repeat it constantly. Too complicated, psychotic, evil, and frankly boring! Maybe larger gals have a sense of humor. Surprise me!

Mike

P.S. My weight is a wild-ass guess. I never weigh myself. I would assume here that being off by five pounds (what the hell is wrong with twenty!) is not a big deal, but I am new here. What is the deal? Objects do not appear properly in this mirror for whatever reason. I think there is a Tiger joke in there as well, but that definitely must be racist, so I did not really say it, or something. To be serious, Tiger may still be the greatest golfer, but he is no longer great. It is damn sad regardless of race. It bothers me more than it should I suppose. I am usually not so easily fooled. It is not about me though, but for ki